Monday, November 17, 2008

marriages in kayalpatnam

I had a chance to visit this muslim town kayalpatnam.It is a beautiful town with every street having a mosque. Muslim women have a different path to walk in this town.They rarely walk on roads. These small way or path is called MUDUKKU. I had a friend named Anisha. She was my cousin's classmate. Anisha a very beautiful girl was engaged to her cousin when she was just 10 years old. I doubt she rarely knows ABC's of married life.But poor girl she has no option but to marry her cousin to whom she got engaged when she was 10.
I laughed out in loud when i heard this through Anisha. Later I learnt this is the practise of the so called muslim town. The town kayalpatnam is filled with muslims. The people of the town work in gulf,asia pacific and all around the world. But they seem to be illiterate when it comes to marriage and their old traditional custom.
Kayalpatnam speaks more of its culture and tradition which i found it highly stupid and not suitable to ISLAM. I was surprised to know that people in kayalpatnam marry their cousins and close relatives only. They dont take marriage offers from the nearby streets too. One street in kayalpatnam named palima theru, people in kayalpatnam treat the people from this street as lower caste and they hardly have any relatives in this street. What a bad example of a muslim town?
There is a great demand for bridegrooms,mothers who have daughters fight hard among their peers to get a bridegroom for their daughters. Men are traded during marriages. How silly? My friend Anisha was engaged with her cousin when she was 10 years old,then her parents tried searchin for another guy. Her parents tried hard to get a bridegroom who was already engaged with another girl. They tried so hard to break that enagagement and it did not happen. So poor parents settled down with her old engagement. This is not new in kayalpatnam,every mother who has a daughter is busy looking for a bridegroom right from the time of her daughter's birth. So weird it sounded to me. This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.
They waste money in food. I tried to understand about their marriage treat. Usually you have a reception and marriage followed by lunch or dinner. But here the money was spent a lot on food. I ate more than 6 times if I am not wrong calling it as an marriage treat.
Women spend time gossiping in the evening,talking fasad till the magharib prayer. They have stones and small ground called vettai specially buit in front of each house to sit and gossip. I found this town the most backward of all the muslim towns. People always fight with their neighbours who are mostly the relatives. The fight is all about bride and bridegroom.
There are very few rich people in this town who hardly help even their relatives to come up in life. There are great Islamic speakers in this town, who only speak but dont practise.
This town has another funny practise,sending their bridegrooms to brides place to live in,this sounds really funny to me because ever in my life I have seen this. This practise is not encouraged in Islam and said in Islam why do the great speakers of kayalpatnam think about this?
Men live in their wives houses,so called House Husbands. It is a custom that a house should be given to the bridegroom from the bride's side for them to live. What practise is this? Is this a form of dowry? but when you ask the people in the town about this,they will give you an answer that is almost acceptable. They say, that it is optional that every bride's house should give. It is a must optional to give. Please I plea the new generation of kayal to stop marrying your cousins and stereotyping a particular street,living in your wives house. Stop all this. Stop all these practises which was started by your ancestors who rarely knew what ISLAM is?
Look for brides and bridegrooms outside your houses,outside your hometown,stop the house gifting system,it burdens the girls parents. My friend anisha had 3 more sisters? 3 more houses? God I just cant imagine? what will happen to those who dont have money but three daughters?
Very sad. It creates a sense of hatredness towards women. And with this practise of giving houses and searching for bridegrooms right from the day of your daughters birth,increases the chances of less love towards girls. Please stop all these practises before you ruin your so called Islamic town Kayalpatnam and most importantly ISLAM.

174 comments:

fayaz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr.Kiz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nafia said...

I am aint sure whether that the new generation is black mailed or not but definetly their own thoughts are not reaching the other end.

They cant live their own life,

meera said...

Ramadhan mubarak, Nafia. u do hv a very strng opinion abt kayal.bt m glad say to i'm frm ths vry sme twn. Bt i gus u've met nly vry few ppl hr. if nt u'd ve bn writng gd thngs hpng arnd. uno, thr r mny hre who spks sense& nt fasadhs. thr r religius majlis. lots f social wrkrs, u cud'v writtn abt. but i admit v r nt prfct. nobdy's prfct.lke evry othr twn,evry othr ppl,kyl hv its own flaws. bt crtnly thr r mny postv points to wrte abt. i hpe u'l tke it in mind durng ur nxt vst to kayal, Inshaallah.

Salaam.

meera said...

and ys. vr consrvatv. bt tht dsnt mean v r bckwrd or narro mindd eithr.btw, abt the marriag custm hr.groom movng in withe wife. thrs a traditn to provid hous to the girl. thr ws a learned islamc scholr who once e leadr of our twn, hpnd to see a pregnnt womn sufferng at her in laws'(smlr thngs stl hpng, ain't it?)he ws upst & to prevnt sch thngs in futur, he brot e concpt f hsbnd movng in wid wife. sinc thn, v follw it as a traditn.bt thr also ppl who send dghtr to hsbnd plc. It dpnds on their wish & comfrt.

mimak said...

I do accept most of ur points but not necessarily the whole thing..as me too frm d same glorious town, I know some of its customs r conservative...I do coincide wid meera, exclusively wid her point abt BG's move to bride home...But I accept modern dowry process here...even some new generations also follow dis but not all...the thing I hate here is intra-relation marriages...I will not do dat and will not claim dowry in d name of gift or so...

mimak said...

Some religious conservatives r here dey exploit people financially in d name of religion..but some gud preachers r here also...I know people view palimar street peoples as lower...i donno d reason..very few people also have religious intolerance also...but most live in peace wid others..engagement in childhood is really to be thrown out, and intra-relative marriages resulted in genetic disorders also...this will not be in practice anytime in future as the custom changes...despite some unwanted customes, its truly d place worthy of living wid peace and values..

muthu fariz said...

I agree with your manner but you can educate the people rather than censuring.

riya said...
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riya said...

its a good system for girl and for others/

abdul said...
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sulthan said...

salam nafia
i am sulthan from same town only u r only just visiter to kayalpatnam u cant say like that........ u know only ur friend told.... sme people was there but u have no rights to to spoil the kayal culture...
so many gents are there they dint get a dowry........... u said abt feast but in that feast they were giving food to poor people also... in our college there there was a name abt"KAYAL"MEANS "HELPING MIND"
so pls abolish the bad opinion abt kayal culture
salam nafia

abdul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
abdul said...

i m abduL i grew up in u said the city ............in ur view my city r wrong ........no one perfect in diz world juse came and told like that itz stupidity ..damn compare 2 otherz city itz best one . ur text really irritate 2 kayalitez v r nt narrow mind ppl watz a hell iz going on why kayal is equal with kk ...itz heritage and pious city

Thai Ariways said...

Assalamu alaikum Nafia,

u know what is the meaning of that,
assalamu alaikum,
come to kayalpatnam ask 5yrs kids ,
The kids teach you the meaning of that ,
That is kayalpatnam,
now u know the kayalpatnam
if you have time pls visit my house i show to you all kayalpepoles,
what the kayalpeoples do, what we have in kayalpatanm,
and u talk abt pazimar street, just u go and ask pazimar street peoples how the kayalpeoples handel with him, we are all brothers and sister and Friends in kayal,
u mistake this post its ok , if you have time u corret it ,
or dont mistake again the same,
Thanks
best regards
Sayna
Thailand

abu_kmn said...

salaam to nafia. thanx for ur comments first. nothing wrong in show ur opinions & post it. but u should think ur opinions r true n fair or not. if something happen in kayal its coz of some reasons. u mentioned many r unislamic in kayal. for ex marry their own cousins. is it prohibited in islaam? can u show any quran ayaath or hadeeth regarding this? never coz its an allowable act. u wrongly comment about parimar street. that street people also good. bt kayalties hav their own customs abt marriage like other town people. u mentioned ladies gossip in the evening. its d sole practise of females (u too female). kayal s blessed with a seperate praying places for ladies called thaika. nearly half of the year ladies go and recites moulids and other good deeds thr ex. whole ramalaan, rabi-ul-awwal 12 evenings, rabi-ul-aakhir 12 evenings, every friday & monday evening. i welcome ur comments. u plz come n stay in kayal for a month and speak with kayalties, see the things happen around u. nothing wrong in spend money on food and serve it to poor people too. regards
Abu KMN

Hubaib said...

I am also from the same town. I think the authors perspective is not correct and infact she is not fully analysed .
Please does n't quote anything without knowing full details.

Hubaibu.

Ahmed said...

salam to nafiya, i agree with comments of abu_kmn.
I'm also going to marry my cousin, bcz it is allowed in islam. And u knw we didn't get any engagement, but we r in love.I won't get anything from her.But i will give MAHAR to marry her.This our own decision,without our parents involvement.

farook said...

salam nafia,
this is farook from kayalpatnam, i too agree with ur points but it happens wih few, infact we are the best in practicing islam when compared to other muslim towns, today many people don't fear to buy or give interest, but many in kayalpatnam don't get interest i can show u many examples don't say we are illiterates we are growing much faster than any towns, so do u say that if female goes to her husbands home there won't be any problem? not at all, i don't know as a women how u are against this policy touch ur heart and say are u people safe in ur husbands place than being with ur mom,this clearly shows kayalpatnam gives priority to women than men,infact we must be worried but we are not, don't think that a guy goes to his wifes house empty, from the day he goes there he takes care of everyone, few take care even their mom's expense, so stop commenting about these things unless u know everything, i am proud to say i am from kayal, when comparing u people we follow islam in a right way,

Sheik said...

Asslamu Alaikum,

Any one can't judge anything with out justifying the truth.
You see never ever you cant accept to marry with out you decide. Both hearts to be decided under parents guidance is acceptable.

I am pretty sure,I can show so many live examples if you ready to hear abt it.

First time I am hearing about from you that marrying a girl from relative is not advised in Islam,Can you prove it? by showing any Hadhis?

There is no caste or separation between any one in this city. You see palimar street people are never ever treated as lower caste at any point of time.

If you prove again by an single example I am ready to show you the truth, Insha Allah.

Vettai are not being used for fasath,If some one do we have to correct them,Its a responsibility of every musilm. Do u accept it?

Thowheeth is growing up and i can show you the speakers and leaders how they live best and how make others to live in a quranic way whom you say not doing anything.

Kali alavutheen one of great scholar who spread islam in kayal who came from Europe and the jamath decided to make a change of bride-groom to live in bride home to protect her from everything and ask any one who is oppsing it.

Actually its not a mistake and its not prohibited in Islam.

So think again, Do you ever see that brides wealth being stolen? or Are they registering to their husband's???

No where. then how come you calculating as Dowry?

Do you know how many marriages now happening in this city with out dowry and how many newly joined in Ilsamic girls are getting married by the Kayal citizens...Visit Aysha siddiqa and other madharsha's and take the survey.

Please analyze and do investigate more for such along time then publish in a public sector.

May Allah guide us and protect from Sin and prevent from separation and Allah will surely show the truth on Ahira (Mahsar) on the day of Judgments. Insha Allh..

Wassalam...

Sheik said...

I am sorry to ask this question,

Are you a muslim girl If so please delete the astrological and zodiac non-sense from your profilea and from your mind.

"Astrological Sign: Leo
Zodiac Year: Dragon"


Because who beleive those the are doing sirk and Allah will not forgive all those things.

Mohd said...

Started in 2008 ans still running...

Not sure what is the faidaa on this chain???

Speak with Hiqma and if not, shut.

Not all the things mentioned were to be denied and but there were things posted illogically and insha allah let Allah guide us in the righteos path. Aameen.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...

reason to go to bride's house is not to take her house we didnot extract the girl from her family.unlike women we can live anywhere(bride's house). we dont have any rights to take their home.girl was engaged at the time of her birth or at age 10 is not acceptable and i cant find anywhere in my surroundings. am also from Kayalpatnam. we are not blind or deaf to accept these things. tell me where u cant find those things in world. - Gouse Mohamed.

Gouse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
farook said...

mr.mohd u first ask her what is the faida she got for writing such comments, if u have mouth that doesn't mean u can keep on talking about some one, first let her practise proper islam then come and talk about others, let her answer the question what sheik asked, is it right to put astrological sign and zodiac year, don't teach anything if u don't know, ma asalam

Gouse said...

Mr.Fayaz watch your words,as a real muslim we cant blame anyone infront of others kk u mean Keelakarai. i dont want to tell the name of the person my friend is from KK get a dowry of 35lakhs even he didnt finish his eng.coll. the girl working in singapore(Citizenship) MBA. Narrow Minded? What did you say? it shows that you people also could not recognize his qualifications except he is a boy huh!. Hell? r u in Zannath.Conservative we r not talibans. we accept the changes which are halal, based on what u said us conservative?

abbas_myin said...

Assalamu Alaikkum

If one blames about other,he should have strong reason behind that. If anyone getting hurt by our action, its a sin in islam. You hurt kayalpatnam peoples totally simply for entertainment. You cant publish these much informations about a place without any strong study or survey of it. If you are a true follower of islam or fear Allah, ask apology and re-do your work with full knowledge.

yousuf said...

Salam,I feel pity with your words,before commenting you should know some thing about what you are talking about,you know our history You can't find complete town following ISLAM like us.we have 100% literacy in Tamil Nadu . you can't find discipline and respect anywhere in the world like this,do you know how many Mosque are there you know many Islamic colleagues are there how many welfare organisations are there.visit our web site http://www.kayalpatnam.com get more info then correct your comment.don't just criticize any with out proper info about that.

yousuf said...

I condemned you on behalf of Kayal people.for your stupid,non sense and irresponsible post.your message is totally foolish.

hak said...

slam,

I agree ur some of points.still few of them continuing old cultures.but this case only we cant judged totally kpm is spoiled and all the peoples r narrow minds.I can sayed no bcz wrong things happening in once in life.wherever u go theres is good and bad ur taking such a bad things only.i feel bad about Ur commands.but in our new generations they r not following bcz iam going to get married coming dec without dourys.so peoples r now well educated and well know about Islams.one more thing ur sayed about parimar street i have many friends from that street and my close friends they have good relationship with that street guys.so please change Ur mind.if its possible remove Ur commands.dont spoiled that KPM name totally. than x............

yaseen said...

salaam to all muslim,
From ur article it is evident that u don't have proper knowledge about islam .
Now tell me why did u upload ur photo when muslim women's are barred from exposing their face infront of men? Now that everyone is able to view ur face . Is it islamic?
U can't blame a whole community for a someone's mistake . In the last of our beloved prophet sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam he once said , " take me ayisha's house ". From this it is evident that he lived in ayisha rali allahu tha'ala anha's house and also used to go to other ummul mu'min's houses . Is that wrong ? . I've never saw anyone getting dowry neither am i gonna do that also . If u have seen that u should have told them that's wrong.
U mentioned here that people here fight for bridegroom. There is an ayath or hadith that during the last days these kind of things would happen . We can't blame it. I've many friends from parimar street and never would i see them as a lower caste . Islam sans these nasty stuffs . If any one does that it's their fault. Mudukku is meant for the safe passage of women . Our prophet married aysha rali allahu anha at the age of what ? Can u blame ? If u do so then u won't be a muslim.
If there is any wrong statements in my comment please mention it.
Wassalaam

Ayesha said...

Assalamu Alaikum Nafia,

Before posting something,you have to analyse from many ppl.I guess your frnd doesnt know abt kayal, she must be a person who visits kayal once in a while.
Few point u've mentioned are acceptable, not all.
And I've few questions abt your friend's engagement and marriage..

1.If her parent is very particular abt breaking her engagement, nobody would be forcing 'em for break up. Why din thy do so.
2.As you said your frnd has 3 more sisters and 3more houses to be given. Its most welcome that thy could search a guy from outside town or from the same town who(GUY) is willing to offer a house. But I'm very sure that thy would not send her girls to the in-laws place.

And you said abt Fasad, yup it was there before. Bt now, no one has the time to gossip.Pls, mention when did you visit our place.

May peace be on you.

Zainul said...

I agree to Aysha's Comment. As I am also from the same Town, I refused to accept your irrelevant post. it is totally a bull shit.

V.N.S. said...

salam nafia' you are just a visiter of kayalpatnam.SORRY TO ASK THIS QUESTN Are You MUSLIM?

HABEEB said...

Assalamu Alaikum
hello nafia, i am proud to say am also one of kayalan which town is uneducatedly censored with ur words. am also married my cousin and also staying in her house. who is illiterates? now days if u compare all over india y even all over d world depend up on the population censuses we kayal peoples having more doctors, engineers, in IT field & all other(Aalims, hafils. i think u dt know abt islam thats y i mention aalim & hafil seperately) fields. even d ladies also getting their own right of freedom & studies equal to gents. if u want we all kayal peoples recommended u to get a seat to study in our college its run by our kayal peoples. same time u can understand many more good thinks about our kayal peoples better than copying words from other friends. hope fully our kayal town will announced as a example town in india by the indian government that days not too far to us. in ur comments u are mention about parimar street, now days most of peoples in parimar street having knowledge of both duniya & aakirath studies. too many years ago one of our kayal people arrange free meals to poor students in one of kayal school with his own income. depend upon that when the tamilnadu x chief minister mr.kamaraj he visit that school that time he heard about that free meal system, then only he planned & order his PA to arrange free meal system to all poor students in all schools if possible u try to do one percent of these kind of social work otherwise close ur words & shut ur.............

Zainul said...

I DO AGREE WITH HABEEB MESSAGE

Riche said...

Salaam Nafia...I agree with ur comments...sending their bridegrooms to brides place to live in??? Huhh...
Izit it encouraged in Islam? Whatever silly reasons you ppl may tell...It should strictly be prohibited.
- Haris Al Sabah

nafia said...

OK Chill Out guys.... there is so much of hatred towards me.....I guess some of them have abused me to an extent and wanna put out some nasty words....

No 1.. I completely believe that you guys dont want to give up your town..no matter whatever it takes..i appreciate it

I have nothing against your town KPM..I just wrote this blog right from my heart..Thats what i felt when i visited there...It was my emotion and outcry for the women who have been treated so bad or whose voice reduced to tht of a dumb person.

I am sorry and apologise if those statements did hurt some of those loyal kayal ppl from the town...

many people have questioned about my zodiac sign which has appeared on my profile.. that has led to doubt that whether I am a muslim or not..well obviously I dont remember choosing the zodiac sign..and have no idea how it appeared..even if i would have opted for the zodiac sign..it cud b fr fun...too...

nafia said...

I can hear only men crying out for kayal..coz it pokes them a lot..and few women out there..im gald that i can hear you after 2 yrs tht i have posted this...

This post of mine and few comments on people have really enlightened me about kayal...one comment by mr yaseen who talks about schools and people who come from other town to get educated in kayal..that's a great thing to hear..I think you guys should continue doing that..I appreciate..

My blog was not about that.... I Just want basic rights for women out there...There were so many quotes on Quran and Hadith referring to chapters and incidents and so on...

I know i cant beat your town ppl out in countering them with counter verses..i am not good at that...Its just a basic right of a fellow women or a human being..

When we talk abt equality it is... Maids working at kayal are mostly non muslims.... They are not allowed to sit in a sofa or chair they sit down...Im Surprised ...i have observed this in 4 or 5 houses...during my stay fr a week..in that town...

Guys understand I have no connection with this town...and nothing against it.. y wud I do a blog on a town which doesnt matter or interfere with my life at all..

I just wrote what i observed...I felt that the food was wasted..in loads..someone said they were giving it for poor... If its so then its ok...but i saw those poor people out standing there not allowed to come in and eat till the feast got over...

I had so many disturbing things happened..i did not mention all in my blog...i mentioned only the lightones and i see loads of people defending it..

Be honest.. dont you think giving a house for each of your daughter is a compulsion by any parent..Even though the bridegroom doesnt want the house...but the traditional practise subconsciously compells them when they think about their neighbours hwo have done the same to their daughters...

I just let out my own emotions..over the blog.... Kayal to me or during my visit or the events happened or the people i met made me to post a blog like that...

I welcome all ur comments..from those who have given me additional and beautiful information about kayal which i didnt knw or i was not exposed to( had to blame my ignorance for it)and i also thank people who have abused me from kayal and questioned my faith in Islam.

I am very impressed by one comment by a follower who askd abt my photograph appearing on my profile and questioning my faith on it..
I would like to tell him that I am not nude over the photo, and I can show you hundrends of women in kayalpatnam who have their photographs on their profile pages with and without a veil.. i have no doubt that you will question those poor women identities as a muslim too..

To my knowledge...and to all these comments which i have read through is the men who are more conservative than women and its hard for them to take whatever was on my blog..

I dont know its 2 yrs since i wrote the blog the town may not be the same...it must have come a long way..if its for good i am happy... and if its not...I can only pray for it to be better..

And for those from kayalpatnam who have said in this blog that I am not a muslim and questioned my faith.. I reply that I cannot be a muslim in Kayalpatnam but a better independent and more modern muslim outside that town which crushes the freedom of women and push the women to an extent and force her to marry even if she is not ready to...

Thank you

nafia said...

@Mohd- Ur one of those men who suffer from treating a women with respect...U can Shout loud that your town is the best...from your town and it will echo only there...

nafia said...

@meera- i completely agree..I cud have written about so many good things about your town but whats the use ? Let the good things continue ..I thought i will mention some of the stuffs which i personally dont like.. This blog is my personal opinion and thats how i percieve kayal from my heart..thts how it was shown to me...and it doesnt matter..what others feel...I have certainly read all the blogs here and replying to it...

nafia said...

@riya - definetly its a gud system for girls who fathers are rich and can buy anything..but not for the poor ones...its defintely a pain...a complete pain....

nafia said...

@sulthan - mr sulthan I am not blaming kayal...just try to understand its my personal opinion on my blog about kayal... i believe i have the freedom to say it atleast online..I knw i will be murdered in kayal if i tell this like those women who are abused and killed during taliban regime in afghanistan..I am aware of it

nafia said...

@thai airways - definetly the 5 yr old kid in kayal will knw the meaning of assalamu alaikum...but will not knw the meaning of life and wedding where most of the kids r engaged to their cousins when they are much younger....

I wish you dont ask the meaning to them

nafia said...

@hubaib- Mr hubaib..this is my personal blog..and i believe i have the freedom to write whatever i feel to..This is what i felt about kayalpatnam and pls i am not accusing kayapatnam so you guys dont feel guilty abt ma blog

nafia said...

@farook - yes mr farook when comparing to us you guys follow islam in a better way... I understand...but you cant find one leader in Kayal..each one of them are in one muslim organisation...TMMK.TNTJ,JAK<THOWHEEDetc etc etc...uffff thts wat islam says..? U celebrate eid in 3 different days..one organised by each organisation..what you gotta say abt tht..so better dont say tht u follow islam better..its not abt following Islam..but its abt the basic rights of a human being..dude...

nafia said...

@sheikh- mr sheikh i am happy tht you mentioned abt shirk..in terms of zodiac sign and astrological stuff...kewl I have no idea hw it appeared but evn if i did it..it cud hav been fr a fun sake...which i really dont blieve...

I guess the best shirk you can find is in your town....There are hell a lot of dhargas where ppl literally do idol worship..thn there s some festival called khanduri...thaikas for howlias....elevated and cemented and tiled kaboors where ppl wrship...can u pls b part of anti dargah organisation in kpm rather thn commenting on my zodiac sign...

nafia said...

gouse- mr Gouse..i dont know abt your town and i dont belong to kpm..so i need not lie on kpm and will not get any mileage out of lying abt a town which is not know outside the state or india..i just felt tht women are treated bad.,lack of focus,education..when i say education it doesnt mean school..it combines common sense,ability to reason,rationalism and so on...what ur saying is literacy...your men and women can become literates from the schools you have but not really educated

nafia said...

abbas-myin- Mr abbas this blog is my emotion......and it has only my personal opinion and everyone ryts a blog to just express their personal opinion...I did not wwrite this blog in a news paper or run a headline in a television bulletin...but i said what i felt..i was honest to my feelings ...y wud i apologise to my own feelings...i did not bring the kayal town down..im just letting my emotions out as a spectator....

nafia said...

@yousuf - yah mr yousuf i agree that kayalpatnam has 100 percent literacy but not 100 percent educated..i guess u knw de diff btw 2..

because you have so many mosques it doesnt mean that you guys follow islam right...Well can i tell you something count your dargas,count how many muslim organisations you have in your town without a leadership,count how many days u celebrate eid..each day one organisation...etc etc etc and you follow islma 100 percent? thts funny..too many holes in your shirt

nafia said...

@mr haq - this is my personal blog..and pls do not ask me to remove my comments...if you can please create your own blog which talks abt gud things on kayal...enough of talking your old culture and pride..every town has its own culture and every guy born in his own town can talk wonderful things abt his town and say many pride things...in practical we need to think where we are lagging..and one has to be open about it..u cannot hide your town flaws under your pride..because it is online and many ppl will see it..doesnt mean the town name will go off..its an eye opener...fyn answer this..u think nothing is true wat i said abt ur town..my thghts..my feelings towards ur twn was a untrue...?

nafia said...

@mr habbeb- ur not rationalising your comment..ur just counter attacking me...i want u to talk sensible rather than talking like a kid in school...wrds like come on we will get a seat for u in college, school and so on ..all r kayal people only running schools...( dude u sound kiddish..get a life) I can also b kiddish n reply fr that answer..like u knw...Oh so kayal ppl run schools and colleges in large for kayal ppl only? are kayalites are not that talented to get into IIT's,IBM's etc etc or they wont b admiited in other colleges..thts y u guys run your own school and claim 100 percent literacy fr ur guys..sad man,,very sad....its lyk writing a exam and correcting ur own papers...funny..)

See this is how i can reply kiddishly to you...shuu my point is not to bring ur twn down man..i just wanna point certain things which am not happy abt...does any of u in this blog has tried to explain me and gimme the reasons y wud i have felt this..y wud someone away frm ur twn has to come and say this to u guys..no what s happenin in ur twn is not ryt..y wud i..wat wud i gain by sayin tht kayal s bad..im not saying its bad..de younger generation has to stop this..i dont knw wether ur young or ur in ur 40's but if ur young and if all others who commented on this blog are young and those who defended kayal r young..man seriously u guys r having a tough future ahead,,,,...

Sheik Abdullah said...

May be you forgot to give a reply for my salaam, I will start my response with Salam,

Assalamu Alaikum,

Even if you are not sure about Zodiac details and some one notifying it and if you feel its should be avoided then please go ahead or ignore that's your wish.

As a counter you are asking me that to change the people who believe in tharga and really I ready to do that already started with my family members the truth is when I was young I used to believe unknowingly about tharga's after learn about Quran and Hadith by friends who helped me to realize that I shouldn't do.

So its now duty of mine to deliver the same to the other people who where need to know and for that and I will recite Dua to Allah to show the right path for all and not any divide between us.

Anything cant be decided by what some group of people follow.

If some one say to stop what you are doing those are considerable as sin and if I say to correct yourself then come back to me it will be good look for a conservative argument but everyone individually answer to Allah in the Day of judgment.So let us start correct ourselves too.

I can simply say with an one example, people who come to Islam from other religion was not ready to leave many of the things what they used to believe but for some personal or business reason some one developed the tragedy for those poor people who immediately be forged but so far all of us need an instant relief for our problem but at that time we may used to forget that by shaitan that everything made by Allah, we have to believe more and more strongly that anything can be changed with the the help of Allah then no other way we will not try.

As a human you or me can do mistake can we tell lie or do sin and so on but only the good part will be visible to the world.

So we correct ourselves and Insha Allah, we start deliver what Allah says in Quran and our Prophet followed and given as Hadhis.Insha Allah.

I welcome your suggestions anything you noticed that need to be corrected not only in kayal or any particular, anything can be corrected and we try for the change...Insha Allah.....

mimak said...

////////////My blog was not about that.... I Just want basic rights for women out there...There were so many quotes on Quran and Hadith referring to chapters and incidents and so on...////////// HATS OFF TO YOU

/////Its just a basic right of a fellow women or a human being..//////

////When we talk abt equality it is... Maids working at kayal are mostly non muslims.... They are not allowed to sit in a sofa or chair they sit down...Im Surprised ...i have observed this in 4 or 5 houses...during my stay fr a week..in that town... //// RIGHT SAID...BUT NOT TO BLAME ALL....GOOD PEOPLE ARE THERE ALSO


//////////I felt that the food was wasted..in loads..someone said they were giving it for poor... If its so then its ok...but i saw those poor people out standing there not allowed to come in and eat till the feast got over...////////// ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
--
//////////////definetly the 5 yr old kid in kayal will knw the meaning of assalamu alaikum...but will not knw the meaning of life and wedding where most of the kids r engaged to their cousins when they are much younger....

I wish you dont ask the meaning to them/////////////// IT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE INSHA ALLAH AS THE YOUNGER GENERATION HAS THE AWARENESS




//////////..I knw i will be murdered in kayal if i tell this like those women who are abused and killed during taliban regime in afghanistan..I am aware of it////// EVEN THOUGH IT IS EXAGGERATED AS WE ARE IN A DEMOCRATIC STATE, IT METAPHORICALLY IMPLIES THAT...WE SHOULD HATE THE UNEQUALITY OR PSEUDO-EQUALITY WHICH IS AGAINST ISLAM....


Even though I do not absolutely support ur blog post, I wondered about some of ur replies...Hats off to ur moderate Islamic life, tolerance, social ethic and independency.

abbas_myin said...

Thanks fr ur reply sister. U r having all rights to express ur opinion. And if anything good happens because of your blog, we all kayal ppl wil be thankful to you. But, u expressed wrong things, thats y i asked u to appologize, otherwise i dont.
Follow it:

1." Anisha a very beautiful girl was engaged to her cousin when she was just 10 years old. I doubt she rarely knows ABC's of married life.But poor girl she has no option but to marry her cousin to whom she got engaged when she was 10.I laughed out in loud when i heard this through Anisha. Later I learnt this is the practise of the so called muslim town.The town kayalpatnam is filled with muslims. The people of the town work in gulf,asia pacific and all around the world. But they seem to be illiterate when it comes to marriage and their old traditional custom".



You should be worried if anisha is married to the guy without her permission at the time of her marriage. Even it happened, it does not mean that its true for all kayalpatnam girls. If you tell its the practise of kayal ppls, thn prove it with survey. otherwise dont say it as opinion..


2.Kayalpatnam speaks more of its culture and tradition which i found it highly stupid and not suitable to ISLAM. I was surprised to know that people in kayalpatnam marry their cousins and close relatives only. They dont take marriage offers from the nearby streets too.



Please prove it that all marriages in kayalpatnam happened within their family. I all not aske you to appoligize if you did it.

3. One street in kayalpatnam named palima theru, people in kayalpatnam treat the people from this street as lower caste and they hardly have any relatives in this street. What a bad example of a muslim town?

How many palimar street ppl complained to you? You are telling things which did not exists in kayal at all. Sister, please tell one example atleas.

abbas_myin said...

4.There is a great demand for bridegrooms,mothers who have daughters fight hard among their peers to get a bridegroom for their daughters. Men are traded during marriages. How silly? My friend Anisha was engaged with her cousin when she was 10 years old,then her parents tried searchin for another guy. Her parents tried hard to get a bridegroom who was already engaged with another girl. They tried so hard to break that enagagement and it did not happen. So poor parents settled down with her old engagement. This is not new in kayalpatnam,every mother who has a daughter is busy looking for a bridegroom right from the time of her daughter's birth. So weird it sounded to me. This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.



You blammed all the mothers of kayal. Do you want us to digest this?. Do you accept if i lie on your mother and father if they r nt truely so?

abbas_myin said...

This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.

Indian muslims are influenced by hindu culture. There is no doubt in that. How many woman did you see in kayal having their mangalyam like a hindu woman does? Please tell atleast on woman.

abbas_myin said...

5. . I found this town the most backward of all the muslim towns. People always fight with their neighbours who are mostly the relatives. The fight is all about bride and bridegroom.

How many muslim towns you visited?
You may not understand our tamil slang probably. You would have mistaken simple talks as fight.

sulthan said...

we r not such a cruel and rude people to kill u... u r telling ur opinion that's ur freedom nafia,before that u should analyse both the merits aswell as demerits u should not point out only demerits we r all muslims... if any non muslims saw ur post means he/she should really misunderstand about islam... so try to post some merits about our islam... wasalam nafia

sulthan said...

we r not such a cruel and rude people to kill u... u r telling ur opinion that's ur freedom nafia,before that u should analyse both the merits aswell as demerits u should not point out only demerits we r all muslims... if any non muslims saw ur post means he/she should really misunderstand about islam... so try to post some merits about our islam... wasalam nafia

zainab said...

Assalamu alaikum Nafia.

I have read ur entire blog & i was deeply frustrated by the ways u r humiliating our town. 4 ur info, go to the nearby places surrounding kayal.. all d ppl wud say tht our kayal is d only place dats developed & ppl cum 4m many places 2 purchase goods here.. So u r unintelligent in telling tht v r MOST BACKWARD....
If its ur own blog, then try to keep it in ur own limited circle. Dnt make it public.. Cud u tell me 4m which place u r 4m? I will let u know the status of ur place after visiting... How d hell cud u undstd abt a place in a week? & u r putting d statements as though u hav analysed completely abt our place... b4 u write sumthg, especially abt sumthg thts common, make sure that u put in correct terms...
U hav replied 4 d comments dat u r juz asking for basic rights for women in our town but i dnt think u r raising any voice for our kayal women.. Masha Allah, v gals hav all our basic rights in kayal in accordance 2 Islam.. U DONT HAV 2 FIGHT FOR US.. U r rather portraying our place wid d spoilt picture.. & pls tel an example which gal is being pushd 4 marriage... & thrs no dowry in our place.. rather, men marry women by giving MEHAR which is strictly followed here unlike many oder places...

If u really want 2 hav d true opinion of our place, cum & visit one more time & stay wid me.. I will show u how happy v women r in kayal...

Most of our kayalites wud hav replied harshly 2 u bcoz the true scenario of kayal is unlike wht u say.. thts y... if its like wht u said, v wud hav kept our mouth shut... & anyway, NO THNX! V GALS IN KAYAL DO NOT WANT UR OUTCRIES! Thank u & assalamu alaikum....

Muhammed said...

Hi short-sleeve nafia,

First of all, stop removing the comments if somebody tells the truth(Which may b against your lies)especially comments u deleted from Dr.Kiz, riya, abdul etc.. It clearly shows that you dont dare to answer for those questions and u dont know how to reply. when you are believing that kayalites are narrow minded ppl in a week after seeing kayalpatnam, and why shouldn't i believe that u r a ******* ***** after seeing your short sleeve pics.. If what ur eyes saw are true in kayalpatnam, then what my eyes saw(ur profile pics) is also true.. WILL U ACCEPT IT?.

You mentioned that "They dont take marriage offers from the nearby streets too"... Hahahahaha..i think u have all the qualties to become a story book writer especially comics bcoz thts d way u put it..

Also you mentioned that "There is a great demand for bridegrooms, mothers who have daughters fight hard among their peers to get a bridegroom for their daughters. Men are traded during marriages.."... Could you tell me how many parents came to you and begged you to pls find bridegroom for my daughter. swear to allah that it wont happen for u because of telling lies about others.if u got married, then for ur daughters... Allah will save u..and all kayalites prayer is for u. So dont worry sister. if u or ur daughter will face this issue, then come to kayal. we will help u to find a better bridegroom for u or for ur daughter.

You also mentioned that " This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.".. After reading this, i really feel very very happy to see that we hav got another sidney sheldon to think imaginatively.

Also you mentioned that "Men live in their wives houses,so called House Husbands". It does not matter whether men live in thier wives' house or wife lives in her husband's house.. it only matters if husband lives in other wives and wive lives in another gal's husband house. Hope u understand.

NOTE: If u hav guts, publish this!

Muhammed said...

Hi short-sleeve nafia,

First of all, stop removing the comments if somebody tells the truth(Which may b against your lies)especially comments u deleted from Dr.Kiz, riya, abdul etc.. It clearly shows that you dont dare to answer for those questions and u dont know how to reply. when you are believing that kayalites are narrow minded ppl in a week after seeing kayalpatnam, and why shouldn't i believe that u r a ******* ***** after seeing your short sleeve pics.. If what ur eyes saw are true in kayalpatnam, then what my eyes saw(ur profile pics) is also true.. WILL U ACCEPT IT?.

You mentioned that "They dont take marriage offers from the nearby streets too"... Hahahahaha..i think u have all the qualties to become a story book writer especially comics bcoz thts d way u put it..

Also you mentioned that "There is a great demand for bridegrooms, mothers who have daughters fight hard among their peers to get a bridegroom for their daughters. Men are traded during marriages.."... Could you tell me how many parents came to you and begged you to pls find bridegroom for my daughter. swear to allah that it wont happen for u because of telling lies about others.if u got married, then for ur daughters... Allah will save u..and all kayalites prayer is for u. So dont worry sister. if u or ur daughter will face this issue, then come to kayal. we will help u to find a better bridegroom for u or for ur daughter.

You also mentioned that " This town has prominently influenced by hindu culture, they tie mangalyam as a part of a marriage ceremony.".. After reading this, i really feel very very happy to see that we hav got another sidney sheldon to think imaginatively.

Also you mentioned that "Men live in their wives houses,so called House Husbands". It does not matter whether men live in thier wives' house or wife lives in her husband's house.. it only matters if husband lives in other wives and wive lives in another gal's husband house. Hope u understand.

NOTE: If u hav guts, publish this!

fayaz said...

@nafia - will you please close this blog..as it is turning too wild and disturbing to see.I told you not to write this. This is what happens when some one speaks his/her own mind. They are literally abusing you on the blog. I have already went through these treatments and now I have learned to shut my mouth.

And this has been going on for 2 years but have not reached a point. Understand You cant make a difference to the town or whats happening there and if so they will never accept your POV. First of all you dont belong there...Someone from somewhere to come here and comment about a town is not acceptable. No 2. Your a woman.. so you can shout till your throat aches among the deafs.

Listen just get out of this blog and move on.. That's my advice...

And all the people out there instead of passing ur abusive comments try to reach a point where you can create understandings better rather than petty fights. Thats why the blogs are meant to be...It is to put your thoughts forward and take the knowledge back.

If you guys still continue to go with your fights..both of you are back to square one.

To you nafia.. Its better to delete this comment and get back to work..

Muhammadh said...

@ nafia & all
U r free to post any comment on ur blog. none oppose it but it should not hurt others even it may be true. i dont know who u r? c if i have ur pic, me too create a new blog in the name of ....nafia, her business is so & so, she can ... if u ... like that as its ma own blog. l u accept the same. first of all from which town u r? u not even ready to tell about ur town? guys leave in psychiatric patient. wt shall v do if some one affected by mental disease.? so pray for her to get cure soon. wt ever it may be, early engagement, treating of ppl its all our own wish as kayalties. r u ALLAH to question us? if u have no job thn find the one who s jobless. islam is not give freedom to u to worse comment others even its true. first u clean urs.....thn others.

Muhammadh said...

@ nafia & all
U r free to post any comment on ur blog. none oppose it but it should not hurt others even it may be true. i dont know who u r? c if i have ur pic, me too create a new blog in the name of ....nafia, her business is so & so, she can ... if u ... like that as its ma own blog. l u accept the same. first of all from which town u r? u not even ready to tell about ur town? guys leave in psychiatric patient. wt shall v do if some one affected by mental disease.? so pray for her to get cure soon. wt ever it may be, early engagement, treating of ppl its all our own wish as kayalties. r u ALLAH to question us? if u have no job thn find the one who s jobless. islam is not give freedom to u to worse comment others even its true. first u clean urs.....thn others.

nafia said...

@muhammad - I guess u hav a prob wid ur attitude... and ur one of the men who I cannot withstand. U have personal Comments on me. I don't mind.. U have made abusive comments calling me ***** **** .

I learnt Ur a dullard... and have nothing to do with this blog because ur a barbarian like the ones you can find in the mountains of afghanistan.

My blog is not about all of them in Kayal but for people like you who contribute the most numbers in kayal.

And more over, U r knowledge about bloggerspot.com is very less and it sums up to 0.

Like the way you said me,that I should research properly and then make my comments on kayal. I dont know about how good is my research on Kayal but your research is really poor and its very evident that Ur running out of one sense that is vital in the process of thinking and analysing.

Coz the matter is I did not remove those comments written by ur doctors and engineers in Kayal. its them who removed there own comments. Thats why u get this post has been removed by the author.

I wish U were born Little Intelligent so that you know what you are talking about and not call me a short sleeve and abuse me.

Mr Muhammad my profile has all my infos,its ur profile which is hidden and does not contain any of those information.

I completely dedicate those words which you used against me ( ***** *** ) to your beloved mother and to your sisters or to ur wife/wives and in case all these people have disowned you I wish you were born as the disgusting animal that ever existed in this world.

Thank you
( Sorry did not want to say those words, but just couldn't resist that as U spoke really bad to me)

And People out there in this Blog. You call urselves muslims and the town that practises Islam and its known for pride and education. This is what you do when you see a lady is abused by a guy belonging to the heritage town of kayal.

I wish you can atleast send him advice and treat women with due respect.

Mr Muhammad - I am not a girl from kayal to stay quiet on what ever you say.. Better be careful with what you speak and I wish the name muhammad doesnt suit you at all. I suggest the name of Pharaoh.

nafia said...

@ All - Ok guys Lets get into the real discussion and get a clear picture on what I observed was true and rest were just wrong assumptions.

It's your duty guys to just let me know from my blog to tell me what is true and what are my wrong assumption with honest answers...

There are few people in this blog whom I really appreciate are contributing to my knowledge about Kayalpatnam. Some of them are meera,Mimak,Mr habbeb.. Pls let me know what wrong with my blog..I mean the entire blog..Pls review my blog and point me the mistakes..

I can look into it..Each one of you..and let me know what you agree with me and what you dont..

And people like Muhammad please stay out of it..Coz I think u guys are the least intelligent who can only abuse rather than generate rationalistic comments and apart from that Its very hard for me to understand your english(Muhammad) it has too many grammatical mistakes. I am not gud at english too.But certainly cant write as bad as U can.. So better ..please dont ryt any comments on my blog..

Coz in the first place its hard to read and only thn I can understand...( Sorry dont want to make it public but yah dude your english is Bad...try out some gud classes)

mimak said...

Ms.Rabiya, I said you are an independent girl. Perhaps I am not accepting all of your comments on ur blog post. But I would like to say, you are not too orthodox and too liberal. It is fair to be moderate and tolerant. If you discuss further about this blog, you may hurt some good people. And you will be hurt by others as some words are being addressed in an abusive way against you. Tq

mimak said...

sorry for the mis-addressing----Ms.Nafia

abu_kmn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Muhammed said...

Hi Short-Sleeve Nafia,

Thanks for the reply.. To comment on d post written by a barbarian woman, i dnt think its wrong to be a barbarian like the ones you can find in the mountains of afghanistan.

If ur blog is not abt all of them in kayalpatnam, then y shud u say tht our place is the most backward one. Thats common & not pointing 2 sum1 in particular.

& by the way,you have mentioned that "Mr Muhammad my profile has all my infos,its ur profile which is hidden".
Yes, i accept that ur profile tells not only abt ur info but in pics too.u didnt HIDE ANYTHG which is AGAINST ISLAM... but we know what to hide and what not to hide..Its evident that u dont know the meaning of "hidden or hide".

when a women like u can talk vulgarly like this, i dont think that there is any of my fellow kayalites who will support u bcoz u r talking as though v ppl dnt know whts ISLAM & u know evrythg.. u r not even behaving like a woman..then how do u expect this!

//"And People out there in this Blog. You call urselves muslims and the town that practises Islam and its known for pride and education. This is what you do when you see a lady is abused by a guy belonging to the heritage town of kayal. "//

Dont try to bring sympathy. we are muslims and we dont want to treat a person like u who is not behaving like muslim.

// I am not a girl from kayal to stay quiet on what ever you say.//

After your comments about kayal, i dont treat u as human first, we only give respect to human but not u..

NOTE: Till now, u didn't tell 4m where u r? & thr r a lot of valuable comments 4m others to which u didnt reply.

//I wish the name muhammad doesnt suit you at all. I suggest the name of Pharaoh.//

You can keep your name as MAFIA.. It suits u well than nafia..

Anyway, i accept its wrong to have stated in an abusive way. Sorry!

nafia said...

@muhammad - u need to grow a lot dude....Nafia and mafia thats a old joke..Have heard trillion times....

Please stay out of my blog...as i find you highly irrational and totally diverting from the view which i am working on....

If u can or if at all if u have the ability to reason..pls review my blog... and point out where i was wrong ..and what was right..Make your points clear...

lets have a constructive argument...U need not know where I am from because that has nothing to do with this blog

nafia said...

@farook - Can u just help me out with stuffs you agree and you dont agree with my blog

nafia said...

@abu_kmn - I did not comment on ur english..I was referring to some one..U can address me as Nafia and not on other names...

Do not comment on things which is totally unrelated to the subject. if you dont have points or the ability to argue on the subject.. Its better to stay away rather showing ur ignorance...

nafia said...

@ayesha - I visited your hometown during the year 2008 and I guess it was on summer must be may or april...

oh kewl if the fasad are not happening anymore...

But tell me ..will a family in kayal would be interested on their own to take up a marriage offer outside the town on their own?

Apart from having all the relatives pressure to get married within the family circle...? I dont think so...

nafia said...

@ V.N.S - Why only muslims can visit the town huh?

nafia said...

@ Ahmed- I appreciate that...ahmed but how many fellow mates are same like you...you must be a rare gud breed from the town.. i wish u all the best both in ur career and personal life...

nafia said...

@mimak - the story about the conceived women and the events happened next to it seems good.

I do not blame the traditional practises of men going staying at their wives place.. It sounds very normal.

But what I am saying is that traditional practise has some how become a compulsion for the brides parents to offer houses to their daughters...

How many Bridegrooms in Kayal will say I dont need a house.. I will build my own house and make my wife and her parents to live in that house..

U can say this as a healthy practise when men in the town who will come forward and build the house on their own money and then make their wives parents to stay in the house...

Does this seems to b more relevant and possible..I wish this thought to become a traditional practise..

What you say?

nafia said...

hey guys I found some interesting article sent by one of my friends from kayal to support my view that this town celebrates EID for 3 days coz of different organisations and lacks unity.. and also make a mother and women in the house to go mad during the festive season...

I dont know the language but certainly my friend has translated it for me to support my views on kayal.. on how women are treated there...pls read the folowing article

nafia said...

பாப்பம்பட்டி பாத்திமுத்து ஜொஹ்ரா

சகோதரர்களே! கீழே காணும் இந்த செய்தியை படியுங்கள்!. இதைப் படிக்கும் போதே எனக்கு கண் கலங்கிவிட்டது !. ஆனால் இந்த வேதனையை அனுபவித்த அந்த தாயின் மன வேதனையை சற்று நினையுங்கள்!. எதை நம் சமுதாய இயக்கங்களும் அதன் தலைவர்களும் நமக்கு கற்று தருகின்றார்கள்?. அவர்கள் கற்றுத் தந்ததின் விளைவை அனுபவிக்க ஆரம்பித்துவிட்டோம்!. வெளியில் வந்தது பாப்பம்பட்டி பாத்திமுத்து ஜொகரா அவர்களின் கதை மட்டுமே!. வெளியில் வராதது ஆயிரம் ஆயிரம் ஜொகராக்களின் குடும்பங்களில் நடக்கும் கதைகள்!. மாதம் மாதம் வீட்டுக்கு பணம் அனுப்பாத நம் சகோதரர்கள் மாறாமல் அதன் இயக்கங்களுக்கு அள்ளிக்கொடுக்கின்றனர்!. உங்கள் காசை வாங்கிக்கொண்டே உங்களின் வீடுகளுக்குள் குழப்பம் செய்ய வந்துவிட்டார்கள்!.

முன்பு ஏதோ நாளே நாலு மத்ஹபுக்கள் தான் இருந்தது!. இப்போது அத்துடன் மேலும் சில இயக்கங்களும் சேர்ந்து குட்டி பதினாறு அடி பாயும் என்று ஆகிவிட்டது. இனி தவ்ஹீது மாப்பிள்ளைக்கு தவ்ஹீது மணமகளும், ஜாக் மாப்பிள்ளைக்கு ஜாக் மணமகளும், சுன்னதுவல் ஜமாஅத் மணமகனுக்கு அதே ஜமாஅத் மனமகளையும் தேடுவார்கள்!. கோனார், செட்டியார் என்று மாற்று மதத்தில் பார்ப்பதுபோல்!. இதை அப்படியே தொடர விட்டீர்கலேயானால், பிற்காலத்தில் நீங்களும் கலப்பு திருமனதிற்கு குரல்கொடுக்கும் இழி நிலைக்கு தள்ளப்படுவீர்கள்!

சமுதாய இயக்கங்களே! மற்றும் அதன் தலைவர்களே!. உங்களுக்கு நான் ஒரே ஒரு கோரிக்கையை இந்த நேரத்தில் முன்வைக்கின்றேன்!. தயவு செய்து இதைப்படித்த உடனாவது வீட்டின் நிம்மதியை கெடுக்கும் இந்தக்குழப்பங்கள் இனியும் நமக்கு தேவைதானா?. சிந்தியுங்கள். ஒற்றுமையை நிலை நாட்ட வாருங்கள். இல்லை எனில் உங்களை அவர் அவர்களின் சொந்த ஊருக்கு திருப்பி அனுப்ப இந்த சமுதாய மக்கள் தயங்க மாட்டார்கள்!.


இனி www.samooganeethi.org என்ற இணையத்தில் வந்ததை அப்படியே உங்களின் பார்வைக்கு தருகின்றேன்.

மூணு நாளா இடுப்பை ஒடிச்சுப்புட்டாங்க…!

பெருநாள் அன்னிக்கு கூட எங்களுக்கு நிம்மதி இல்லாமப் போச்சு. இந்தப் புள்ளைங்கள பெத்ததுக்கு சும்மா இருந்திருக்கலாம். தெனமும் எழும்புனா புள்ளைங்கள வேலைக்கு அனுப்புறது, துணி தொவைக்கிறது, அப்புறம் மத்தியான சாப்பாடு, நைட்டு சாப்பாடுன்னு எப்ப பார்த்தாலும் மிசின் மாதிரி அதையே திருப்பி திருப்பி செஞ்சுக்கிட்டு கிடக்கிறோம். ஏன்டா பொம்பளயா பொறந்தம்னு வெறுத்துப் போச்சு. ஒரு நாளு படுத்துகிட்டா கூட ஊடு நாறிப் போவுது. முன்னாலெல்லாம் துணிமணிங்க கொஞ்சமாத்தான் இருக்கும். இந்தக் காலத்துல 5 பேருக்கே தெனமும் 10-15 துணி சேருது. கை காலெல்லாம் வலிக்குது.

நான் இந்த கடிதத்த ஒங்களுக்கு ஏன் எழுதினேன்னா இந்த வருசம் ஹஜ் பெருநாள்ல எங்க ஊட்ல நடந்த கொடுமையை எல்லாத்துக்கும் சொல்லனும்னுதான் எழுதுறேன். நான் எழுதினத ஒங்க பத்திரிகையிலே அப்படியே போடுங்க!

எங்க வீட்டுல என்னுடைய மூத்த பையன் தவ்ஹீது ஜமாஅத்துல இருக்கான். இரண்டாவது பையனுக்கு PJ அண்ணன பிடிக்காது. அதனால “ஜாக்” அமைப்பில இருக்கான். எங்க வீட்டுக்காரரு ஜமாஅத்து நிர்வாகத்துக்கு பயந்துகிட்டு அவங்க சொல்லுறதுக்கு தலைய ஆட்டுவாரு. அப்படின்னா ஒரு நிமிசம் என் நிலமைய கொஞ்சம் நெனைச்சுப் பாருங்க!. இந்த ஹஜ்ஜுப் பெருநாள் வந்துச்சு பாருங்க. மூணு நாளா நான் படாதபாடு பட்டுட்டேன். என் கஷ்டத்தை நான் யாருகிட்ட போய் பொலம்புறதுன்னு தெரியல.

மொத நாலு செவ்வாக்கிழமை என்னோட ரெண்டாவது பையன் “ம்மா இன்னிக்கு தான் பெருநாள். வா தொழுகப் போவோம்னு” கூப்புட்டான். சரி, அவன் மனசு நோக கூடாதுன்னு போய் தொழுதுட்டு வந்து கறி வாங்கி ஆக்கி கொடுத்தேன். ரெண்டாவது நாளு புதன்கிழமை ஊரே பெருநாள் கொண்டாடினிச்சு. நானும் என் வீட்டுக்காரரும் எங்க வீட்டுல இன்னொரு ஆள் இருக்கு. ஒங்க கல்வி நிகழ்ச்சிய பார்த்து காலேஜ்ல சேர்த்துவுட்டு இப்ப காசு காசுன்னு என் உசுர வாங்கறா! என் பொம்பள புள்ளைதான். நாங்க மூணு பேருமா சேர்ந்து போய் தொழுதுட்டு வந்து அன்னிக்கும் கறி வாங்கி பிரியாணி வச்சு சமைச்சு முடிக்க 4 மணியாச்சு. நான் ஒருத்தி மட்டும் கெடந்து அவ்வளவு வேலையும் பார்த்து முடிக்க அம்புட்டு நேரமாச்சு.

nafia said...

நான் வேலையில்லாம பெத்தேனே ஒரு பொம்புள புள்ளைய… தெண்டம்! ஒரு வேல பார்க்க மாட்டேங்கிறா. எந்த நேரமும் டி.வி.தான் பார்க்கிறா. என்னத்த சொல்றது.

மூனாவது நாளு காலயில மூத்த பையன் வந்து இன்னிக்குதாம்மா பெருநாளுன்னு சொன்னான். எனக்கு ஒன்னுமே புரியல. அப்ப நேத்து நாங்க தொழுவுனது என்னான்னு கேட்டேன். அது டூப்பிளிகேட்டுன்னு சொன்னான். எனக்கு கோவம் வந்துச்சு. ஏன்டா இப்படி பன்றீங்கன்னு கேட்டேன். நீ தொழுவ வர்ரீயா இல்லியான்னு கத்த ஆரம்பிச்சுட்டான். அவங்க கூப்புட்டவுடன் போய் தொழுவுன மாதிரி எங்கூடயும் வான்னு கையபுடிச்சு இழுத்தான். சரின்னு அவங்கூடயும் போய் மூணாவது நாளா தவ்ஹீத் ஜமாஅத் நடத்துன தொழுகையை தொழுதுட்டு வந்து அன்னிக்கும் கறி எடுத்து ஆக்கி கொடுத்து மூனு நாளா என் இடுப்பு எலும்பு முறிஞ்சு போச்சுங்க. இனி என்னால தாங்க முடியாது.

என்ன பெத்த ராசா மாருவளா…! நீங்க சமுதாயத்துக்கு தொண்டு செய்யறது எனக்கு நல்லா தெரியுது. அத ஒன்னும் நான் குத்தஞ்சொல்லல. ஆனா என்னைய மாதிரி பொம்பளைங்கள கொஞ்சம் நெனைச்சுப் பாருங்க! எங்க பயலுகளுக்கு நீங்க என்னாத்த சொல்லிக் கொடுக்கறீங்களோ… எங்க உசிரு போவுது.

சொர்க்கத்துக்கு வழிகாட்டுறோம்னு சொல்லி எல்லாருமா சேர்ந்து எங்களுக்கு இங்கயே நரக வேதனைய அனுபவிக்க வெச்சுட்டீங்களே! இது ஒங்களுக்கு நாயமா படுதா?.

எல்லா மக்களும் ஒரே நாள்ல பெருநாள் கொண்டாடினாக்கா நாங்க பொம்பளைங்க சேர்ந்து, நீங்க, ஜமாஅத்காரங்க, தலைவருங்க, அமைப்பை நடத்துறவுங்க எல்லாரும் சொர்க்கத்துக்கு போவனும்னு துவா செய்வம்ல. இன்னொரு முக்கியமான விசயமுங்க.

எங்க வீட்டுல தொல்லை தாங்க முடியலங்க. வாப்பாவும் மகனுங்களும் அடிச்சுக்கிறாங்க. வாப்பா ஒன்னு சொன்னா அதுக்கு மார்க்கத்துல ஆதாரம் எங்கன்னு என் பசங்க கேக்கறானுங்க. என் வீட்டுக்காரரு அந்த காலத்து மனுசன். ஏதோ அவருக்கு ஹஜரத்மாரு சொன்ன மார்க்கம்தான் தெரியும். அறுபது வயசாகற அவருகிட்ட போய் ஆதாரம் குடுன்னு கேட்டா அத எந்த கடையில வாங்குறதுன்னு கேக்குறாரு. அவருக்கு கோவம்தான் வருது. வீட்டுல எப்ப பார்த்தாலும் ஒரே பெரச்சனைதான். ஒங்க அமைப்புல பயான் செய்யும்போது எல்லாரும் ஒத்துமையா, பொறுமையா இருங்கன்னு சொல்லிக் கொடுங்க. பெரியவங்களயும் பெத்தவங்களயும் மதிக்கனும்னு சொல்லிக் கொடுங்க.

இததானே நபியும் சொல்லித் தந்தாங்க.

வேதனையுடன்
பாப்பம்பட்டி பாத்திமுத்து ஜொகரா

nafia said...

@zainab - I am sure your well educated as your town has very good educational institutions... But you dont seem like a girl who got educated in the town.. You sound like someone has got a better education outside the town and has a very good knowledge..

I think you would have read the article of Zohra.... her outcries on her sons and how she was forced to celebrate and work for three days for one Eid...

Its more than enough for any knowledgable person to guess nearly 70 percent of anyone's behavior in a matter of seconds..I was there for a week and I believe that the time is more than enough to just figure out the situation of women and there rights and their decisions largely influenced by men and its mere impact...

Fine as u said that Kayal women are fine and I need Voice out for them or represent them...

The saying goes with you to sister.. So as you cant speak for all the women in town saying that we are living in a better condition and no one needs to voice out...even though you belong to the same town...

Please read the article and let me know your view...

nafia said...

pls read the upcoming article...A man from the very same town who is a muslim killed a child and drank the blood..to attain supernatural powers..

This will prove that still there are people in the kayal town who are superstitious and adhere closely to the Hindu Practises...

nafia said...

Fakir beheads child, drinks blood...

In a shocking incident superstitious belief, a fakir and his woman associate allegedly kidnapped, beheaded a one-and-a-half-year-old baby and buried the remains at two different places in southern Tamil Nadu, apparently to attain supernatural powers.
The police have arrested the two and exhumed the torso of the child from a secluded spot near Erwadi dargah in Ramanathapuram district and the head from Kallamozhi near Yeral in Thoothukudi district. Abdul Gafoor, the fakir, had apparently sacrificed the child to goddess Kali Amman. The police suspect that the kidnapper may have drunk the child's blood as part of occult rituals.
The police said Gafoor (31) from Kayalpattinam in Thoothukudi district, told investigators that he had kidnapped and murdered the child after he had a dream in which he was instructed to sacrifice a child and drink its blood to acquire supernatural powers.

He had kidnapped G Khader Yusuf, the child, from Goripalayam dargah in Madurai on July 2. The child's mother, Sherin Fathima, a widow, had been staying in the dargah for several months. The police said Gafoor had spotted the child during a visit to the dargah for the treatment for his associate, Ramala Beevi (28).

"Gafoor and Ramala Beevi took the child to a lodge in Ramanathapuram. When the child started crying, Gafoor slit his throat. He then beheaded the boy and buried the head at Kattupallivasal near the Erwadi dargah. The couple then took the head to Thoothukudi where they buried it near the Kallamozhi dargah," Chidambaram Murugesan, inspector and head of the special team investigating the case said.

The police zeroed in on Gafoor after enquiries at the Goripalayam dargah revealed that he had stopped visiting the place since July 2. He was arrested on Friday night from his hometown and brought to Madurai. On Sunday, the police took Gafoor to Ramanathapuram and Thoothukudi, where he was asked to exhume the body.

When Gafoor started digging at the spot, a portrait of goddess Kali Amman, and a garland of beads were found along with the torso wrapped in red cloth. The police team then went to Yeral and exhumed the head.

nafia said...

@zainab- u left your comment that people from all communities live in peace in kayalpatnam.... and they come a long way to study and appreciate the town.

The article which is posted below this will tell you how intolerant kayalites are towards the other communities.

They did not allow the construction of Tsunami houses for the victims at sighithurai...considering that this will pave the way for the alien settlements...

and also they want to rename the town singhithurai to another new name.. coz it sounded different...

Please post ur comments regarding this article

nafia said...

Commercial establishments and educational institutions remained closed since 6 a.m. on Tuesday, as the residents of Kayalpatnam opposed housing facilities to be made for tsunami victims at Singhithurai, a coastal hamlet near Kayalpatnam in the district.

Autorickshaws and taxis were off the roads. The protest was organised by Kayalpatnam Muslim Aikiya Peravai.

Normal life was affected following the strike called by the agitators. There was no damage in Kayalpatnam and its surroundings during the tsunami calamity on December 26, 2004. However, the Tamil Nadu Slum Clearance Board was proposing construction of 169 tsunami houses at Singhithurai.

Moreover, the protestors pointed out that the Kayalpatnam Municipality passed resolutions on June 11, 2008 and February 19, 2009 against any construction of houses for tsunami victims.

They also opposed the existence of the name “Singhithurai” and sought rechristening the costal hamlet under “Kayalpatnam Palli Vattam.”

Wavoo Seyed Abdur Rehman, Chairman, Kayalpatnam Municipality, also took part in the agitation. Adequate police personnel were deployed to prevent any untoward incident.
The Hindu...

nafia said...

Fishermen happy about nod for construction of tsunami houses

Staff Reporter
Tuticorin: Fishermen were elated following the district administration's declaration of construction of tsunami houses for the costal villagers of Singhithurai here.

Presiding over a grievances redressal meeting convened for fishermen, D. Ravichandran, District Revenue Officer, said all houses would be established as per the directions of Government.

Recently, the residents of Kayalpatnam protested against the construction of such houses meant for tsunami victims.

The protestors opposed the move saying that the move might pave way for accommodating aliens.

S.J. Gayes, president, Tuticorin Country Boat Fishermen Association, said that the fishermen of Kombuthurai and Singhithurai had been engaged in fishing for several years.

They also possess family cards and voter identity cards.

Why should the Kayalpatnam residents oppose the construction of houses, he asked.

Mr. Gayes also expressed apprehensions over conflicts arising between fishermen of country boats and mechanised boats on damages caused nets of country boat fishermen.

A.A. Jayapaul, a fisherman and president of Tharuvaikulam Panchayat, said a fish oil making private unit functioning at Tharuvaikulam was causing environmental pollution to the residents and sought action. Mr. Ravichandran replied that a report had already been sent to Pollution Control Board in this regard.

The long pending demand for establishing groynes at Tharuvaikulam should be fulfilled, immediately.

C. Parthiban, president, Tuticorin Fishermen Labour's Association, demanded enforcement of fishing ban between November and December (northeast monsoon) instead of April 15-May 29 every year.

A research team of Central Government was undertaking a study to make changes, if necessary, Antony Xavier, Assistant Director, Fisheries Department, said.

As many as 42, 086 fishermen in Tuticorin district had been enrolled under Tamil Nadu Fishermen Welfare Board.

Based on 5,666 applications by the enrolled fishermen for assistance under various schemes, funds to the tune of Rs.28,80,500 had been given to 473 applicants so far, Mr. Xavier replied to a query by Stephen Victoria, a social activist.

The fishermen of Threspuram raised objections to letting wastes into the Buckle Canal and said the inflow of polluted waters into the seabed of Threspuram was causing health hazards.

abbas_myin said...

See all, Everyone's action depends on their niyyath only. Its the sayings of Prophet (S.A.W). Nafia's intention is not to rectify the problems of kayalpatnam, but to degrade it. Our advise to nafia "Its better for you to study more about kayal before answering us. No one will be satisfied if you point out few things and tell all your are correct. You are not able to accept your mistake still. You asked to know real things about kayla now only. Atleast, realize that you are not having enough knowledge about kayalpatnam

nafia said...

@ABBAS - ok what you have to say about the above articles and facts which i presented it to you... Y dont you help me out in clearing some of my wrong assumptions rather than just posting a normal comment on my attitude

FAROOK said...

its not about islam, i don't know what is not about islam, its all about islam if you have any problem in that you are not a muslim don't talk rubbish saying u islam never goes against the human right, you have a problem not others if you say there is people celebrate eid in three different days then u have to compare everyother places could you please tell me what where the people are celebrating eid together is that happens in chennai, don't talk like a social activist you are not a social activist and also you don't have that knowledge too, what is the zodiac sign is that mentioned in qur'an or hadith, don't just comment coming here for a day, you have a problem in your view, don't just think that we don't know anything being in the village, we know much islam than you, i know u won't be conveinced and its not my duty too to convince you, its a waste of time replying you,

nafia said...

@farook - As much as Guilty U sound....please try to stick ur point..I guess ur not a muslim..I dont know why the muslim talk is doing here...So what if a non muslim comes and ask you the same question..u will the same answer...

Please do not comment on my religious status.. And dont say that you know islam better...

Oh yah ur comparing chennai with Kayalpanam..how weird..So if people in chennai celebrate eid for 3 days and then people in kayal can also celebrate huh?

Thats weird and not a relevant answer.. U just cant accept the fact and truth about your town...very simple...

Ok fine let me rewrite the blog to keep you guys happy,,,

Kayal is the one of the leading towns in following Islam.

People of the world should draw lessons from this extrodinary town which exactly follow what the quran says...

There are no dargas, No Khanduris, No shirk practise in this town.

All Weddings in kayalpatnam are held in a great islamic way...People do not wear wedding garlands or they dont go to dargas at all.

There is one complete unity in Kayal.. They have one leader to follow...

U cannot hear Movie songs , people do not watch Movies in television, and everyone in this town are prodigies when it comes to practise and preaching Islam..

ETC ETC ETC....

If your completely happy with this..I will Publish a new post in a much better appreciating way about kayal....

Sheik Abdullah said...

Assalamu Alaikum Nafia,

Celebrating EID on various days is now happening everywhere in India and some other countries too.

Basically there are several leaders from various groups like TNTJ,IMTJ,PFI,JAK,Sunnathul Jamath...etc they are the one decide depends upon the source and which also match with the Hadhis and Quran statement.

There are so many arguments is still in active between A& B for the same and its an endless one it seems .

I can give you a simple example for this as of my knowledge,

Allah Says about the "TAQWA " which is how you true to Allah its what Allah knows and its the one will reach to Allah.

So if you are not able to make sure which is correct and you can go ahead with the lead says which is exactly match what Allah given and Rasulullah followed and said to us.

In the Day of judgment Allah will show the reality and if incase if we are mislead by anyone Allah is the one decide to give punishment and I guess its not exactly to the followers...that is also Allah may forgive so no one can decide upon one person even a non-muslim about his/her judgment from Allah.

Best thing is learn more and more Hadhis And Quran and Pray to Allah to follow correct way and that also has to be unique, Insha Allah.

As Rasullullah said we may divided in to nearly 72-77 groups and it will happen as Allah desired and we have seek help to Allah to be in the way that leads to Jannah.

Let me know if you have any objections on this, Insha Allah its a good start you are asking about to unique as one group and every one will try for that and Allah has to give success who are all start work on this and also to get unique path for jannah. Insha Allah!!

farook said...

i am happy with with my place you don't have to say anything to make me happy, i will question your status about islam as you have mention LEO as your astrological status could you please mention is it allowed in islam its haram if you don't know let me teach, and i don't have to be guilty you have to be guilty, hope you afre in london and also a fashion designer u know english better that me please go through the reply you gave to me "its not about following islam its about basic human rights human rights" its you who bend the rules upto your will not me dude.,Being a fashion designer do you design dresses as per shariya rules please touch your heart and tell me don't argue just for the sake of replying me or else please don't reply, and please understand one thing going behind astrological signs you will loose the 40 years of good deeds

farook said...

And one more thing for heaven sake don't praise kayal because there are some criteria for that and you don't deserve that,

abbas_myin said...

salam. Its very good that u expect help to know the truth. The reason that y kyl ppl getting angry with ur presentation is u show only one side. Its not fair to show oneside and publishing it as a whole. You speak out what are good things you saw in kayal during your visit. It makes ppl be behave normal with you.

Now to the point.

1.Regarding engagement in child hood- Its not happened to any one in my family. I can show many examples for that. Its there in kayalpatnam, but its not practise of kayal as you presented. Moreover, there is no problem if the engaged ppl like each other at the time of marriage. No one is compelled a girl or a boy on for the engagement.

2. People in kayalpatnam marry their cousins and close relatives ONLY - Its not true as i can show proof from my family and other too if you really want it.

3. "Its stupid and not suitable to slam" - I dont know y told this. please explain. If its for marrying cousins - its halal to marry cousins. There s no problem in it.

4. Palimar street - Its not true that they are treated as lower caste ppl by others. No one in kayal were stopped to enter any places like school,masjid, home, and any other places as lower caste.

5. There is a great demand for bridegrooms - "Really" There is demand for bridegrooms all over the world. We proud that female infants are not killed after born or in fetus in our town. Your message tells that.

6. Men are traded during marriages - for how much rupees?

7. you told story about anisha's parents - I dont know whether she accepts it or not. But all other mothers are not same as your presentation.

I ll continue

nafia said...

@sheikh - Ok fine i will agree that Celebrating eid in different days is yet to be sought out by the different groups...

And Hope you guys make it as just single voice... So it means there is no one leader at kayal who can guide people...

But there are numerous groups whose voice is not one... but that has nothing to do with the town..

It seems the whole state itself has these organizations for political gains and they are multiply divided among themselves and ploitically motivated...

I agree with your point...

But can you throw light on the traditional practise of giving house to women.. what will the poor parents do? dont you think that this is a subtle form of dowry that no one has realised...

For an outsider like me it seems to be a dowry when i first heard it...May be you guys are ok with it... can you clear me on that...

nafia said...

@farook - Your more interested in knowing what am doing and who i am and where do I hail from.... I dont know why that matters to you a lot...

Since you are so interested in my profile and I dont want your curiosity to go on and on with your weird thoughts...

I am a 4th generation of UK muslims living in london. My fore fathers lived in India and do have good relations in India.

I went to school and did my univ in Uk. I have been visiting india frequently to see my relatives and also regarding my profession( most of the time)

I completed my univ degree at London college of fashion... I was not forced or taught by my parents to wear Hijab or any of the Islamic studies..

my family was quite free and not even bothered to educate us from islamic point of view.

It was when during 2006 when the muslims in london were taken for a toss, during the 2006 london bombings I though to wonder what muslims gotta do with it...

And then when laws were passed by UK and the other neighbouring countries in EU starting from not wearing Veil in public places or to work or to school and college then I started wearing head Scarves...

And year later I worked for few brands and this made me to move across all over Islamic nations starting from the middle east to south east asia and also the countries in asia pacific...

Anisha was my class girl in London School of fashion.. and with her i got introduced to numerous muslim sisters in Chennai and also around the state...

It was shocking for a person who have visited many musilm nations to find these thing in kpm. i was introduced to KPM in a very good manner by few people whom I know. But practically I could not believe the practises that went there...

I had a high regard for this town before I visited but after the visit it was so different from the actual point of Islam and few other countries which I have visited.

I dont know whether to blame my ignorance about Islam or else the world has to learn from KPM for its right practises..

Coz u people giving me answers which completely makes me wonder that what I saw in other parts of the muslim world was so untrue..

Anyway as some one said in these comments that god decides the best..So I leave it to him...

nafia said...

@farook - U know Islam much better than me... sorry I could not stand against you with those quranic verses... cause i dont have much knowledge about it..But what I learnt from my own experience I judged the practises in the town was thoroughly stupid and its practises are insane...

I deeply regret for that and it has nothing to do with my Islamic Knowledge. It has completely to do with my observation.. May be what I observed was not true... that you guys dont have darghas,or dont send your bridegrroms to brides place or its totally rubbish what I said...

On my professional side... I am a designer and I have my designs exclusively for muslim women..and distributed in most of the muslim nations..

I try to combine my work from all across the muslim word.. from Persians to the traditional dresses in egypt, morocco,arabia,syria ,indonesia,mughal etc etc...

I professionally do wedding dresses for muslim weddings.. I also design accessories for women combining all the muslim traditions across the world...

I dont include any muslim traditional dresses from south India.. coz they dont have identity and most of the designs are same as the other community weddings...

I do this work from myheart and dont know what this has to do with this blog...

So thats what I do... I dont know what sharia laws are? even if I know my pov will be exactly different from urs... so definetly there will be a difference in opinion...

Men in my profession has always treated me with great respect and care and it is certainly coz of my attire and the way I deal with them...

I guess everything is cleared from my professional aspect....and about that Leo.. Coz its in my profile it doesnt mean I believe in it..

I am 22 and right from 17 i have worked for what I am. I paid my course fees in college and did not depend on my parents. like me there are many other sisters in london who earn their own bread.

So I know what world is as better than anyone close to my age...I wrote this blog when i was 20 i guess..and that what i felt...

I am not new to all these abuses over this blog on internet... i have faced this all my life living in UK.. I have faced this as a girl,as a teenager, as a woman,as a mulsim woman,as a muslim woman with veil..

I was on strrets of london holding cards..saying Hijab is our choice not compulsion...etc etc

So I knw what it takes to be a woman..It takes a lot to be a woman in the west and than a woman in a small town....

Now u guys know where I am from you can go with your abusive languages on the town which I hail from...

FAROOK said...

@nafia I am sorry if i am hurting you i don't want to fight with you again and again, I am not eager to know who are and what your history is, but when you come out in public and writing bad about my native place i should know who the person is and how much credible she is, its very common, and you have to learn much about islam in islam there is no 4th generation and 5th generation its always same, people like you and me change for our own purpose, and don't publish something on the net which you are not aware of you don't know anything what happens with the singithurai, many lands are ours and they are illegally occupied i have more thing which i don't want to explain, and please remove the astrological sign which haram in our religion which everyone knows a muslims profile will never have such kind of things which i had to ask, A muslim should not have such a belief its not modern as you say its an awkward thinking, Regarding kayal issue ya i agree there are some problems but it is not as big as you think the people here people are very good you asked earlier only men are batting for the kayalties it is not like that i have not seen women finding fault with this place everybody fighting with you in this blog means don't think they don't know anything what's happening around the world they just see only kayal we have come across many places even my sister is in london we are aware of this world and we are not sitting in the darkside may be you the one who sit in the dark, i agree with dargas and other few systems are wrong but the system changes which is quite good but the people here are very good

nafia said...

@farook - I guess there is nothing to do with my astological sign and my belief..I know its haram...b4 I knew its haram...i dont blieve in it....I have nothing to do with it..and even I dont know whats my astrological sign or what else it is...

When I say i dont believe it...the topic ends there..soesnt mean tht you need to insist me to remove it...Let that be on my profile as a black dot...Where I could remember ppl telling me this again and again and its so strong in ma heart...

Apart from that I have nothing to say about this blog...I am clear with your views...

At the end of the day its fine...
I am certainly used to apologising stuffs.. please do not apologise.. i am ok with these abuses and its not new to me...Am very much fond of or even prone to these abuses..

I am aware that I will be abused to the core once I started to write this blog..So i am ok with it..

i dont carry any insults to my as i am used to it..but anyway it was sweet of you to come and say sorry where you hardly find anyone to do that in a public domain...

I respect you for that...I have learnt few things from my blog..bohth good and bad..it was a great experience ....thank you everyone.. This will be my last comment on this blog and dont wanna discuss anything more in it... thank you very much

Sheik Abdullah said...

Assalamu Alaikum Nafia,

On my first response itself I clearly explained about your assumption of giving home to women.

All the marriages not happening like that but certainly some few may be even they have to answerable to Allah.

Errors are there everywhere and with everyone a Muslim may smoke,drink ,take dowry, watch cinema, listen music and So on.....

What you will say you...by comparing those people you cant say total Muslims are wrong.

Where we see a sin our duty is to stop by hand if cant by word if cant then neglect through our heart that's what a true Muslim will do.

I can clearly say all the now a days youths are very clear and they are go by the Hadhis and Quran.

If I say clearly to my parents that I will never marry if there is a dowry business, its everyone have to do.

Sorry to ask this question, have you ever asked or against with the marriages happened on your family if there is dowry transferred.If you did it then it was a good start.

By single voice no one will hear but if we group together and oppose against anything need to be corrected then it will be a revolution.

What I mean here is the responsibility is for everyone.Let me know if you have any suggestions.

abbas_myin said...

As Mr.Shaik Abdullah said, new generation is having enough knowledge to rectify old problems. Some ppl are not getting home from girl's family, we should appreciate them and encorage it. some guys build their own home after marriage. Its practically impossible for a moderate family to give a home to each girl. Its very difficult for many outsiders to accept the practise of giving home to girl. We know that ppls from other places like many of our kayl's life style and culture. Kayal will be more better if we follow all the sunnah of nabi(s.a.w) in marriages.

abilash said...

dear sister,

could u pls visit www.kvatcharity.com? this is one of the samples frm our town kayalpatnam...thx

Ahmed Moosa said...

The original post by nafia is so true that every kayal guys have to accept including me.The reason for all this is people of kayal are very greedy towards money,they don't have the heart to see thier relatives or thier neighbours coming up in thier standard.They hardly spend money on charity but they spend plenty of money on all sirukhs which is not preached in Islam and about the marriage and bridegroom what you said is very very true.Anisha is lucky that she got engaged at the age of 10 there are some girls who got engaged as soon as they were born.now how pity is that.???people should be ashamed of that and now the younger generation girls are marching a step ahead in the era of modern communication facilities with the mobile phone they have and from the influence of movies,they find thier boyfriend from the town or more someother town through facebook they develop relationship and nafia as you wished they are gonna break the old custom they are looking far ahead so much ahead forgetting thier traditions and the boys are no exception they do the same thing but the girls doing this is unacceptable.Nobody here any deny this fact.fighting and gossiping are the best part of our culture.The only good thing about kayal is most of the boys over here are good players in the sense sports or games players which i liked the most in my childhood and you may enjoy eating the high colestral delicious food of kayal but you should know the fact that most of the people in kayal die out of cardiac attack.Although theartes and Wine shop are not in the town certainly its in the reach for all kayalittes.Thats not actually the problem for us.Its time for us to build a police staion to monitor the post maritial affairs and teenage love affairs and cyber pornography crimes :-) i never regret that i was in born in kayal but i really dont wanna be a one among them.

Ahmed Moosa said...

what i am [osting is nowhere related to the actual content of the blog or anyhting like that its just my agony towards my hometown.I really loved kayal when i was a kid and i when i grown up there and when i came to know about the things which is happening there it created lot of hatret i cant digest and the worst part is people justifies every wrong thing they do and i dont care if you guys abuse me after reading my comment. All of you rather than defending kayal from all the nasty happening there.Try to understand that its actually making our community and town so worse and it puts a bad image of our town and its no wonder that people like nafia would write such a blog..its not just nafia i have heard from lot of muslim people from other town pinpointing all the worst things which is happening in our town,if you abuse them or if u fight with them it doesnt makes any sense.ok i accept the fact that the younger generation are not illetrates but just knowledge about science and engineering is not enough for showing a sign of developed community.most of the people dont really know how to behave in public,how to talk,they dont really understand the character of other people when they live outside ,they are not flexible its because they stick on to thier stupid culture and they have a superiority complex which is a very bad thing.they dont respect other religion people,other community people,they dont even treat them equally.i really got frustrated with this.noone gives good reason to prove our old fashioned and unpreached tradition.Most of the people who visited kayal enjoyed only the food and hospitality may be the beach nothing other than that.we still keep saying east or west kayal is the best and the outsiders will keep laughing,critising and abusing if we dont show any improvement in our action and deeds.i regret that i saw this blog just now.

abu_kmn said...

@ahmed moosa
I read ur comments throughly. Then u better to move away from the kayal & find the city of ur choice which have all islamic qualities. V l take care of ur kayal.

abu_kmn said...

@ nafia
on the story of fathimuthu zahra
As u post its happening in most of the islamic majority towns. i agree with u but at the same time, all the problems u mentioned only in the recent 25 years. i mean only after the arrival of innovative groups like TNTJ, INTJ, TMMK, JAK etc., There is no problem between 4 madhabs on anything. difference in idea doesnt mean controversy. So pls understood those things & back to our original path of Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaath. May Allah guide all in the right path & bless pathima zahra with prosperity & peace in her family insha Allah.

Ahmed Moosa said...

@abu: so you accept everything i mentioned is true..rite??give an answer rather than getting out of track..and brother nobody you can't ask me to leave..am i living in your property or wat??

abu_kmn said...

about marriages in kayalpatnam

உலகில் ஒவ்வொரு பகுதிக்கும் தனித்தனியாக பழக்கவழக்கங்கள் உள்ளன. அப்பழக்கவழக்கங்கள் உலக நடைமுறை பழக்கத்திற்கு மாற்றமாகவோ ஒத்துப்போயோ இருக்கலாம்.சில பழக்கவழக்கங்கள்வித்தியாசமாகவும், ஆச்சரியப்படத்தக்க அளவிலும் இருக்கும். அவ்வாறு உள்ள பழக்கவழக்கங்களில் காயல்பட்டண மக்களுக்கு என்று தனியாக உள்ள பழக்க வழக்கங்களை இங்கே நாம் விவரித்துக் காட்ட வேண்டியுள்ளது.


திருமண பழக்கவழக்கம்:
ஒரு ஆணுக்குத் திருமணம் முடிந்தவுடன் அவன் தன்னுடைய வீட்டிற்கு தனது மனைவியை அழைத்து வந்து இல்லறவாழ்வில் ஈடுபடுவதுதான் வழக்கம். இவ்வழக்கம் மற்ற சமுதாயத்திலும் உள்ளது.


காயல்பட்டணத்தில் வாழும் முஸ்லிம்கள் திருமணம் முடிந்தவுடன் தம் மனைவி வீட்டிற்கு குடியேறி இல்லற வாழ்வு வாழ்வதுதான் வழக்கமாக உள்ளது. இதற்கு காரணத்தை நோக்கும் போது, காயல்பட்டணத்தில் காழி(நீதிபதி)யாக இருந்த நபிகள் நாயகம் ஸல்லல்லாஹு அலைஹி வஸல்லம் அவர்களின் பேரரான மகான் ஹஜ்ரத் காழி செய்யிது அலாவுத்தீன் வலி ரலியல்லாஹு அன்ஹு அவர்கள்தான் இந்த வழக்கம் ஏற்பட காரணமாயிருந்தார்கள் என்று தெரியவருகிறது. அவர்களின் காலத்திலிருந்து தான் இந்த வழக்கம் இவ்வூரிலும் இவ்வூர் தொடர்புடைய கீழக்கரை, அதிராம்பட்டினம், தொண்டி போன்ற ஊர்களிலும் நடைமுறையில் இருக்கிறது.

காரணம்

ஒருமுறை காழி அலாவுத்தீன் வலி அவர்கள் சென்று கொண்டிருக்கும்போது நிறைமாத கர்ப்பிணி பெண் ஒருத்தி மிகவும் கஷ;டத்துடன் கிணற்றில் தண்ணீர் இறைத்து அதை குடத்தில் சுமந்து கொண்டு செல்வதை கண்ணுற்றார்கள். அதை விசாரித்தபோது அந்தப் பெண்ணுடைய மாமியார் தான் இதை செய்யச் சொன்னதாக தெரியவந்தது. இது அவர்கள் மனதை மிகவும் நெருடியது. இரக்க குணம் கொண்ட காழியார் அவர்கள் தீர்க்க ஆராய்ந்து ஒரு முடிவுக்கு வந்தார்கள். அதன்படி எமதூரில் இனிமேல் மாமியார்களின் கொடுமை நடைபெற நான் அனுமதிக்கமாட்டேன். ஆகவே அதற்குப் பகரமாக மாப்பிள்ளை திருமணம் முடிந்தவுடன் பெண் வீட்டில் வாழ்ந்தால் இந்த கொடுமைகள் நடைபெற வாய்ப்பில்லை. மாறாக பெண்ணின் தாயாருடன் பெண் இருப்பதால் மிகவும் பாதுகாப்புடன் அப்பெண் இருப்பாள் என்று கருதி இந்த முறையைக் கொண்டு வந்தார்கள்.

காழியின் தீர்ப்புக்கு கட்டுப்பட்டு அன்றுமுதல் இன்றுவரை இந்த ஊர் மக்கள் திருமணம் முடிந்தபின் பெண்வீட்டிற்கு இல்லற வாழக்க்கை வாழ சென்று விடுகிறார்கள். காழியின் தீர்ப்பிற்கு கட்டுப்பட்டு நடப்பது இஸ்லாமாக இருப்பதால் இன்றுவரை நடைமுறைபடுத்தப்பட்டு வருகிறது.

இதையொட்டி வந்த வழக்கங்கள்:

இந்த வழக்கத்தை ஒட்டி இந்த ஊரில் திருமண நடைமுறையே மாறிவிட்டது. பொதுவாக பெண் வீட்டிற்குச் சென்றுதான் மாப்பிள்ளை பெண் பார்க்கும் வழக்கம் உள்ளது. ஆனால் இங்கு பெண் வீட்டார்கள் மாப்பிள்ளை வீட்டிற்குச் சென்று மாப்பிள்ளை கேட்பது வழக்கம்.

மாப்பிள்ளை பேசி முடித்தவுடன் பெண் வீட்டாரும் மாப்பிள்ளை வீட்டாரும் சேர்ந்து தங்கள் உறவினர்களை அழைத்து பொதுவான ஒரு இடத்தில் மாப்பிள்ளை பெண் பேசிய விபரங்கள் அனைத்தையும் கலந்து பேசி ஒரு சீட்டில் எழுதி மாப்பிள்ளை, பெண் வீட்டாருக்கு தலா ஒரு காப்பி வீதம் வைத்துக் கொள்வார்கள். சில சமயத்தில் அங்கேயே திருமண தேதியை முடிவு பண்ணவும் செய்வார்கள்.இதற்கு 'சம்பந்தம் கலத்தல்' என்று சொல்வார்கள்.

மாப்பிள்ளை பேசியவர்கள் திருமணம் முடிக்க நாடினால் இருவீட்டாரும் கலந்து பேசி ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட நாளில் ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட இடத்தில் தங்கள் உறவினர்களுடன் ஒரு சிறு வைபவம் போல் வைத்து திருமண தேதியை குறிப்பார்கள். இதற்கு 'நாள் குறித்தல்' என்று பெயர். இதில் திருமணம் நடைபெற வேண்டிய இடம், நாள், நிகாஹ் எழுதக் கூடிய ஆள், திருமண விருந்து பற்றிய விபரம் ஆகியவைகளும் பேசி முடிக்கப்படும்.

abu_kmn said...

hope ma last post give answer to ur discussions here insha Allah

Ahmed Moosa said...

@abu: brother you call these guys TNTJ, INTJ, TMMK, JAK as innovative groups uh??i cant stop myself from laughing..but its true u know Each one of them are very innovative in modifying the islamic rules according to thier convenience..

Ahmed Moosa said...

@abu:i read that post and i know all this well before and my discussion is no where related to that but still i have one unanswered query suppose a poor father has 3 or 4 girls(who are allah's gift) according to kayal's tradition the father has to build seperate house for each of these girls which would cost him atleast 40lakh so with no way out he goes for debt in bank with interest which becomes a haram.so what i am trying to say "house gifting" tradition directly or indirectly makes him to involve in haram activities.Do you have any answer for that bro??Why are we still following this?and why people of kayal don't agree for marriage if they don't gift a house

abu_kmn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ahmed Moosa said...

your post says that right from the day of kali(rali) mother in laws of kayal were so rude ..thats so bad..isnt it?islam preaches only love towards people not dominance and brutuality..

abu_kmn said...

there are some exceptions

many grooms in kayal build thier own house when their father n law have 3 or more children. u may not know. am not responsible for ur ignorance.

Ahmed Moosa said...

As you said there are some or few exceptions not all..that too noone in thier family will accept his idea right away..he has to make them understand something he has to compremise for the sake of his family..not many grooms bro just few grooms

abu_kmn said...

we doesnt mean b4 the time of kali alauddin raliyallahuanhu all the mother in law r rude. v try to say the reason for giving the house to the brides.

abu_kmn said...

ok bro. kindly clarify my doubt. wt abt other islamic towns? did groom build their own houses especially in the town of ms.nafia?

abu_kmn said...

@ moosa
Wt the grooms l do in others towns if they not able to built their own house? i mean if they are not affordable?

Ahmed Moosa said...

i dont know where nafia belongs to and its totally out of my concern..Bro Why do you compare our town with other muslim towns and why we guys always carries an impression that we are superior than them or something like that..We should set an example to them by taking an initiative

Ahmed Moosa said...

Nothing should be impossible for a guy,nothing should be unaffordable for a guy.he has the power to earn money and if he does hard work and work smart aswell he can very well make money to build a house for his family.Without accomplishing that he shouldnt marry.

abu_kmn said...

i doesnt mean that i just ask u. as ur wish if v change our tradition especially in the subject of marriage. wt d poor father of 4 grooms l do to give house to his boys or the poor boys l do to built their own house, if v change our tradition?

abu_kmn said...

poor & rich r the fate written by Allah. How can v say a boy shouldn't get marry if he s not affordable to build his own house? Is it fair to say? Is it practically possible?

Ahmed Moosa said...

Brother you still didnt get my point boys should never be poor.Why do you make them poor.They have the right to go around the world and earn money its thier responsibility but girls dont have that freedom and they are allowed to as per islamic rules.so its the boys who have to do all this.House gifting make them lazy and irresponsible.It makes them dumb

abu_kmn said...

@ moosa
according to u, groom should built his own house. wt abt ur case? shouldn't get marry till u build ur own house? If so am the first person to congratulate u.

Ahmed Moosa said...

It might be fate but Allah also told us to work hard unless we dont work hard we dont earn money and if we dont earn money we will be always poor.Yeah it might be unfair but without money how a guy can manage a family,educate his kids or give them a comfortable life and then cycle repeats again the kids will follow the same thing which thier forefather followed and apparently there wont be sign of improvement and people like nafia will still make fun of our tradition and we will just listen to them rather than correcting ourselves

Ahmed Moosa said...

yeah i am gonna keep my words i wont get married until i build my house.probably if you give me your contact details i would invite you for my marriage which is gonna happen in my own house ..

Ahmed Moosa said...

I will tell you something if someone whom you know things that he is poor by hate,tell him "you moron don't be dumb head dont blame your fate rather than moving forward"

abu_kmn said...

one can't become rich at single night. Wt i ask u is if a groom is not affordable for a house at his time of marriage (say at the age of 25) wt shall he do?

abu_kmn said...

u already know me personally so i may attend ur marriage insha Allah. am also from the same said town.

Ahmed Moosa said...

According to me first of all 25 is too early for a guy to get married and secondly the guy has to make sure that he has enough money to build a house and manage the marriage expenses and then he has to fix the marriage.my view may be condratictory to yours or most of the people but i think this is the fair thing one can do

Ahmed Moosa said...

Except for our town,kilakarai and adirampattinam in all other places in this world in muslim coomunity guys build thier own house of thier marriage life.So what do you call them ??genuine or fools??

Ahmed Moosa said...

In your comment u said that you would congratulate me if i build a new house for my marriage so u know thats the good thing to do ,so why do you support and defend this stupid house gifting.

Ahmed Moosa said...

u know i just told what we are discussing here to my friend and about house gifting..he is sayig this is the most stupid practise that he ever heard and he adds this reduces the quality of a groom..howz that sounds??

Ahmed Moosa said...

if the same thing continues people will consider gal baby as a burden instead of accepting gal baby with love as allah's gift..

Ahmed Moosa said...

fayaz i have just seen this post and probably that might be the reason i was late unlike indian trains coz indians trains aint that late.From my comments dont come to a conclusion i hate kayal,but yeah there are plenty of things which i dont like about kayal people especially thier superiority attitude,disrespecting others,ignorance,most of them dont know how to present them in public..inspite of having all these flaws they say we are the superiors and all others are inferior..I dont afraid of posting any comment here coz they mean nothing to me and i dont depend on these guys,everybody knew what i told is true but they want to accept and thats so mean of them.anyways thanks for the appreciation although it was kinda too little.lol..kidding..take care bro.

fayaz said...
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fayaz said...

@moosa - I cant leave comments on kayal...coz i was brought up in chennai and i hardly know about the town..but quite aware of the practises and people...

I am not really happy...on the way the town functions and certainly feel it could be improved..

I have no doubt that we r lil better thn the other surrounding towns..but with this pride we cant be watchin on all.... what's been going around...

I can give many xamples from ppl i knw..who are mostly married to their cousin even if they dont want to..but dont say it loud...coz of various reasons... I can state one..

An indirect compulsion of making a guy married to another family coz of his sister's concerned marriage benefits...im referring to the term sattu mathu..

Thank god nafia dint knw abt this..otherwise she wud have mentioned tht too...

I agree wid most of the ppl in this blog that nafia has not researched properly on the town..or she would have stayed longer...

If so she cud have pointed out more left out points..

Coming back to this saatu mathu...i feel so bad abt it...a brother has to undergo this process in order to lighten the burden of his parents so that he could help his sister(get married) by marrying his brother in law sister lives in a better place...

I blieve my frnds in kayal..will have something to say on it..This doesnt happen in one or two cases..but most cases I have seen this pretty often..

Lets be open and criticising abt the town...whats wrong in discussing its bad practises...instead of writing thts always gud...

Anyway this s de point i wanna make for a long tym...but cudnt for various reasons..

Its been tough for me living to the expectations of the traditional kayalpatnam practises which im not used to..but compelled by parents and relatives subconsciously thts runs on my mind all the time...

That too me working in media has been approached by several of my close friends of kpm to quit the job...with their old traditional ideas...even though they dont say it in open but can really feel the vibes...

anyway i wish we should have a more healthy conversations....not only discussing the problems but also addressing the solutions through this blog..thts wat we shud b really doing..
we r just pouring our hatredness towards each other rather we should discuss more on solutions..tht will be a smart move..

Ahmed Moosa said...

@fayaz: I appreciate that you have mentioned about saath maath and its another worst practise and you know what is the serious consequences of this.say for example if a pair is not living happily then the groom would say to her wife my sister is not living happily with your brother and so how am i supposed to live with you happily.so a conflict between one couple directly affects the other couple.these days people are realizing the adverse effects are saath maath and we hope that people of kayal will eradicate in the next generation though intra-family will continue to happen since there is lot of business involved in it u know the main reason for intra-family marriage is they dont want to handover the family property to some other family..howz that???but its very true..

Ahmed Moosa said...

coming to nafia she started with the good things that is a very good start and then shooted out the things which appeared wrong to her may be yeah if she would stayed there for a long time she would have mentioned some good points and more bad points.She failed to mention about the hospitality .kayal people are very very good in hospitality and nafia i hope you would have realized that

Ahmed Moosa said...

@fayaz:yes as you say we have lot of good things in our town Since we people are always praising the good things we forget the flaw in us and to my opinion the flaws should be corrected so as to make the entire system perfect.Education is the most powerful tool which can fight it.Nobody will accept if we say this is wrong but may be if we approach them in a polished way with some acceptable proofs they may listen to it.leave the older generation and middle aged generation thier time is out only the younger generation should seriously look into this and if the younger genegation still don't accept the flaws and stupidity kayal will remain to be an old fashioned stupid traditional muslim town.

Ahmed Moosa said...

@fayaz: so brother your friends are critizing your media work and now i have a question for them if no muslim are working in media then there should not be any TV or radio or any media device in saudi arabia and all arabian countries.am i making sense?they are the direct generation of prophet mohammed(sal) no one knows islam better than them.now if media is banned in islam why are they going for media broadcating.we see what is happening in holy makkah in our TV without media how is it possible..??may be you should ask them these questions

Ahmed Moosa said...

without media how can we discuss these blogs which is happening right here..Almost all guys and gals of kayal are there in facebook,orkut and all that.Ask your friends to stay out of it and deactivate thier account if they say media is not allowed in islam and ask them to put thier cell phone in a thrash and ask them to send a letter through a dove.Every single home is having a TV 2 or 3 in some home if they are against media ask them to destroy it.Even the news which we get from different part if the world is through media.fayaz understand this They only preach they will never follow..Don't listen to these dumbheads you carry on..Rise and shine..Insha allah They will realize these facts slowly

Ahmed Moosa said...

Someone here posted that a 5 year kid in kayalpatnam will explain the meaning of "Assalamu alaikum" and the same 5 year old kid will sing a movie song without any mistake in the lyrics ..Maam or sir what do you say for that???
If you are wrong and if someone says that you are wrong,accept it and rectify it rather than defending it and abusing them and making it very complicated..

Ahmed Moosa said...

There is a fact that if you look into a white circle with a small dot.that small dot will get your attention than the big white space.the same thing happened with nafia and she said that.i hope there wont be any personal reasons behind it.Its our duty to erase that small black dot together.nothing will change over a night insha allah in the future we will proudly say kayal is a town with no flaws.

Ahmed Moosa said...

i know the reason why palimar street is considered as a lower caste but i dont wanna say it loud over here.if anybody wanna know you are always welocme to mail me at aamuz1cool@gmail.com

KAYAL said...

@nafia u wash ur ***** in thames so u may talk like that.bt wat else do u know abt kayal.

fayaz said...

@Kayal - Dude talk decent....chill man..dont abuse... If you had a strong point to prove u can do it..but not abusing people..thats not the way a debate or a solution moves..

You have to be decent and You can still be harsh crictising but there are better words than *****

You should read her original post...whether u agree or not with it..It has a flow with non abusive languages...she may not like the entire people in kayal..but she did not abuse them...

some would have been hurt..but not abused..so please maintain ur dignity( if at all you have)..

Otherwise start a new blog in the name of Kayal is so good to live and should be the capital of the Islamic world..you have the right to say it and criticise it...nothing wrong ..but you cant b abusive,,

KAYAL said...

@fayaz. k chill out man i'm sorry.ilove kayal so i got tensed.she only shooted out the negative points of kayal y didn't she say the gud points.don't u feel what she said was wrong

KAYAL said...

enna da nadakuthu ingae naan maela vandutaen.................. anga enna lalala pannitu irkkinga.............................

Ahmed Moosa said...

yaar ivaru???

nafia said...

@fayaz- its shocking and amazing to c u backin fr me..kinda impressed...back to old school days buddy..hehehehe....bihn thnkin of those days off late nw n thn,,,kinda intrstyn...u dihn knw wah ur doin now..i guessed it so ryt n did tell u,,,tht u ll b drawn naturally to the conflict...basic instincts pushing u behind the enemy lnes..lol

fayaz said...

@nafia - yah those dayz are very hard to 4get...Its been very late..should catch with those days...too matured we have become..No No dont take me for granted...u got to sail alone till the end..its finally out ..u cant keep promises for sure....

Was wondering.. How come your posting What? No its back again..shit she is back again...Now get some sleep and concentrate more on career n trends..n chuck this outta deal(sayin itch n yur fashion)...Kewl..hehehhe keep posted....

KAYAL said...
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sameeha naz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
samee nazia said...

Assalamu alaikkum brothers and sisters..
First of all HATS OFF to Nafia..For this awesome effort..Masha Allah
And also brothers Ahmed Moosa and Fayaz.tho hailing from Kayal had the courage to speak the truth about Kayalpatnam..
We know that it is an Islamic town..but the practices and customs that they follow is something not acceptable..

Can you deny the fact that you reject proposals for marriage from girls or boys outside your town? You do that !! and if people marry from outside , you treat them in a different way..

Moreover burden the girls parents by so called "HOUSE GIFTING" practice and deny the fact that you do not demand dowry.Building a house is the responsibilty of a boy not to receive it as a gift from the girls side.

Culture in kayalpatnam is islamic.I do accept the fact ,but not all the practices they follow.I just need to put up 1 question to all kayalites..

Why do you reject marrying from outside? If its a boy ,that might create a trouble for you as the boy stays in the girls house.But what is the problem if it is a girl?? You don seem to accept even a girl from other place?

U call this Islamic???

Ahmed Moosa said...

This is a never ending Topic..

MOHAMED SHAIKNA said...

@Sister Nafia..I found sum gud tym reading ur blog..am so sad dat u hv very lil knowledge abt kayal..might be u inherited those frm ur frnd anisha...I can start a debate and win..bt u wont be convinced until u live at kayal..Every thing done at kayal r fr d welfare of d individuals..U said abt Dowry.u termed it wrong bcoz dowry is smethng given to d groom completely.bt in dis case the house s in d name of d girl..dat too fr her security..consider a girl got divorce(worst case) wer do u thnk she ll go n live ..

About d custom wer grooms stay at brides place..I have never heard of a case where grooms r mistreated by their in laws.bt.d bride experience all those..It is in dat oly good thought grooms live at brides place..

I think u mistook kayalites by the concept of caste system..v treat all ppl equally..may it be rich r poor...I hav very good frnz frm parimar street..they r part of kayal too..dint noe hw dis kind of false news entered ur mind..

May ALLAH save us frm wrong path n guide us thru d right one..

Wassalam..

nafia said...

It's nice to be back on this blog after 4 years I guess since I have posted....I posted this when I was 20 years old and now I am 24 and I am still sticking to my point and to every word that I wrote in this Blog... I am extremely sorry if some or most people are hurt by those comments...but this is what I really felt about the town when I visited here.....

And it is really exciting to see the comments of people who are more interested in commenting on me personally rather than rationally....

nafia said...

And now the latest news is not about the marriages in kayalpatnam....but the divorces in kayalpatnam... I would like to write a blog on th true stories of women who are divorced by men from the very town of kayalpatnam for various reasons.

I heard the divorce rate is very high in the town at the moment. If my marriages in kayalpatnam blog is not true then how come the divorces happening now is on a high rate....

Dear Brothers and Sisters, i appreciate your defending mechanism but turn to your hometown to look for real answers and start to be open about marriages and prevent divorces....

It's just the concept of the marriages at your home town is wrong which has led to the recent divorces...

I urge you to learn from the past and catch up with world. or else you will be well taught by the upcoming generations....

jenifer said...

Some true,, many false. Finally this blog is fassaad. (( all kayalities pl just ignore))

Muhamadh Abubacker said...

@Nafia. We know how to correct ourselves and none of your business. Don't make nuisance. We are not in need of your advises.

fayaz said...

There are certainly lot of things thats true about this blog.... We cannot deny it nor ignore it....things are changing quick nowadays and people are moving out of family and town to get married....

If someone has observed our town so closely it means she is impressed with us but wants us to perform n lead other towns better....

The practises are not so easy to change overnight... It will take time as you took your time to wear hijab....it s changing n it will change faster as we too need time to learn from our mistakes n correct it...

Fareedha Kader said...

assalamu alikum, nafia. my name is fareedha. i was born and brought up in kayalpatnam. according to ur perspective kayalpatman ppl donot help each other...i m very sorry to say this . ur such a blind. do you know we have many organisations that is just to help poor ppl{iim-to help the poor people to start their own life, iqra- this organisation helps the poor students to continue their both schooling and higher education}. and there is another organisation known as KCGC this heps in finding out job vacancies to help the up coming youngsters. dear sister NAFIA, i think pls learn the correct information abt our town donot spread wrong information and one kind request dont be ignorant. come to our town every home is open for you . come and learn more and spread to correct news. and donot say we r do not following islam. even our 10 yr old is doing hifz.
masalama .

Fathima Faseeha said...

Assalam Nafia,

I see a lot of posts here on KPM. some good some nasty, some unbearable words used(astagfirullah). I think we all must end this comments chain, coz' basically this is what we call Fasad. Knowingly or unintentionally, You started this Fasadh chain b'coz u commented on a city just based on your friend's opinion or what happened in your friend's house. Sorry, but the words u used to describe the city was full of acquitions rather than subtle words.
First let me give a small into of myself. I am a kayalite myself. I am an M.SC graduate myself and most of my cousins have attended colleges.so, All women in KYP are not illiterates. Second, I have married a guy out of KYP and I am leading a very happy life with my hubby. I agree that most of y fellow KYP marry their first cousins, but it is mostly (note this) not in compulsion. I have seen a lot of arrangements break between first cousins becoz' as we grow up if we not interested in marrying our cousins, our parents do nullify the arrangement. My bro and sis have not married their first cousinseither. so, KYP might have its flaws like evry other city does, but we are rectify these flaws slowly.
I don't agree to other KYP fellow bloggers that KYP is the best city in the world. but we r not the worse either as u hv commented. We practice islamic shariah laws, we donate interest received from banks or not collect them at all. It's not compulsary to give a house to the daughters in wedding, but it's Mandatory to give Mahar during wedding. For women having aseparate Mudukku or Thaika, we r very proud of this because we can go anywhere and we can practise our religion without the interference of men. In KYP, there r not theatres, no shopping malls and no incidents of torture or rape against women, unlike in all others modern cities where women r treated as equal and humiliated as well
This is a sincere request to all my fellow KYP bloggers. Pls stop this comments thread and avoid posting nasty comments against Nafia, bec'z she has posted what she has seen. Nafia, I am sorry tha your friend's house irrationally but next time when u visit, leave me a msg and I shall show loads of good hearted people who not only practise Islam but die of true muslims.
Please remove all the hard feelings bro and sisters as What we have been taught from childhood is Sabr and lets maintain and stop this here.

Nafia, a personal request to u. KYP as a city is slowly coming out of its old thoughts and beliefs and trying to accomodate new trends,so one-sided comments or blogs like this is only defaming a city of Ulamas and Alims. Pls listen to both sides and posts blogs. Insha Allah, hope this ends here.
PS.. My family does not go to Dhargas or does not attend Mahalra Kanduri. So, pls do not commonise everything on KYP people.
Wassalam

nafia said...

@Fathima Faseeha
Dear Sister , Assalmu Alaikum,
It was indeed great to receive your comments on this blog and i thank you for making efforts to record your thoughts on this blog.

My observations about the town dates back to 2008 and it is now half a decade , well that's a lot of time in todays fast moving world...

I have not generalised anything and in the course of these 5 years , i have come to understand more about the town and i appreciate the fact that some of them do recognize certain practices of the town to be a grave mistake....

I should say that those who did so have gone into a deep introspection about the town and had the braveness to face the music yes, we do have some flaws but we are on the process to correct it....

It's been a while since I have visited the town in 2008 and I have no idea of how it's now and what is happening there because I have just got too busy with my Family and work....

Well whatever I have seen during my short visit , i have observed it keen and it has helped to see Islam in a new perspective...

I was an evolving muslim then and was trying to come with terms of what Islam is all about....

And in these years I have learnt that it is between the Individual and God...

Dear Sister , it was so kind of you to address this blog with great humility and patience with no offending words with previous bloggers accusing me for what my observation is all about...

And very few pointed out the actual scenario and many took this as an opportunity to throw mud and dirt at me which i accept it with whole responsibility as I was very well aware of these tantrums before writing the Blog but I could not stop telling what it is all about....

I could only say that the Emotional Intelligence that you displayed was not merely close when compared to most of your fellow hometown men and women....

I have had made sincere apologies to the certain objectionable lines written by me which was not true....

But I refuse to take this blog out because on the whole it was a healthy debate that is yet to receive its conclusion....

I was not a mother when I wrote this blog and now I have a lovely twin girls and when I look back into this blog , it still haunts me that certain things have not changed yet in the town...

But definetly yes I am optimistic that things have got better in the past from the day the blog has been written....

There would have been people who did not agree about what I said in this public forum but they know it from their heart what they were doing is wrong and I am sure some of them would have turned better now to make kayal a better place...

With all my love and wishes , I would say that I have no regrets , no anger and no hard feelings about this blogs or the bloggers who have made derogatory comments on me...

Wassalam





Fathima Nazreen said...
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